My 20’s was spent in a smashing and swinging time and
diametrically opposite to what my 30’s are. Nothing really compares to certain
stuff in your twenties such as – skin, hair, fitness and last but not the least
sheer guts ! But the thirties are not all morose and sullen as I am possibly
making it out to be. To me, my thirties have all been about balance and
stability. I have never felt as confident in myself as a person and individual
as I have in my 30’s. Although, I am in the early to mid 30’s range I am almost
certain of what this decade is going to entail J
which is saying a lot considering how completely unpredictable my 20’s were !
So, a fitting post would be jot down what the decades have
taught me so far.
Lessons from my 20’s:
1. Never
let go of an opportunity, you just never know how it could turn out
2. Live
big and live each moment, you really don’t know how sucky the next one could be
3. No
boy is ever worth losing your sanity and peace of mind over (ever!)
4. Try
everything at least once, even if just to form an opinion
5. Your
skin and hair is probably the best it will ever be, so revel in it !
6. You
will make the maximum friends in this decade ( which also means you must
evaluate how many of them you actually want in your life for the next 25 odd
years)
7. Acting
kiddish is very different from being one! (And believe me you will be judged
constantly)
8. Travel
travel travel
9. Don’t
be frugal, be prudent
10. Dream
big but also aspire for smaller stuff that bring joy
11. Your
boss/mom/best friend may not understand you but that is no reason for you not
to listen to them once in a while
12. Learn
a new skill, anything.
13. Learn
to be skin wise, it goes a long way.
14. You
need to be with someone who values and respects you for what you are. In short,
you need to be cherished and more importantly you should be told about in once in
a while
15. If
you don’t have a good feeling about it, don’t do it.
16. You
may find your cozy set of girl friends but it’s the guys in your life who will
be that pillar of sanity and support when you need to figure it all out. A guys’
perspective may not solve your problem but will let you understand it in most
cases.
17. You
will get over that breakup/heartbreak no matter how unending it may seem or how
un mend-able your heart may feel. Give it time and sufficient healthy
distractions and this too shall pass.
18. Do
not write friends off simply because they seem pre-occupied or too self
consumed. They are either happily in their cocoon or too hurt internally not to
reach out for whatever reasons. Give them their space and time and you will
find that you can pick up just where you
left off when they come back. When they come back a) hold on to them since they
did come back b) acknowledge the fact that your lives may have branched out differently
and that is ok.
19. Family
usually takes a backseat in your 20’s due to the independence (financial and
otherwise), while it maybe ok to close up on matters close to the heart, it is
not ok to shut them off completely. Keeping daily mundane communication going
goes a long way when you would need to come back to them groveling later on in
life J
20. Find
someone who makes you laugh in the face of anything.
Lessons from my 30’s (so far):
1. You
will not have time for everything under the sun but that is ok
2. Don’t
sweat over the small stuff, life will go on and in the bigger scheme of life,
smaller stuff rarely make a dent
3. Aspire
to be good at everything you do, but don’t beat yourself up if you have to
slack off in a couple. You need to find a balance between what can be done and
what level of perfection is acceptable to you.
4. Try
to make new friends, old friends tend to disappear or move apart
5. If
you are serious about your professional career, treat it seriously. Turning up for
work does not qualify under being serious about your career.
6. There
will never be enough money for all the explicit and implicit needs in your
life, the only way to make it available or last, is to plan and invest wisely.
You don’t have to be a Financial whiz to save up some money each month and put
it aside.
7. If
you find someone who loves and cares for you unconditionally, hold on to them
and never let them go. Apart from your parents, that person is the only other
person who will be around when everyone around you judges you.
8. Make
time for your friends, friendship like any other relationship works both ways
and you need to invest time into it.
9. If
a good friend does not want to talk to
you about something but prefers someone else, take solace in the fact that they
have an avenue to get it out of their system irrespective to the medium.
10. 30’s
will be a checklist time, make peace with that fact. It will be the decade where you
will want to check stuff off of your list and tend to compare your list vs
someone else’s. Its normal to do that
11. 30’s
can be testing to your relationship with your significant other, since your
relationship will get tested with each milestone in your life, financial or
personal. E.g. investments, new house, babies etc.
12. Life
will change after kids and sooner you accept that the better. It is not
necessarily for the worst but you need to acknowledge that it will happen and a
change is good. Life will normalize over a period of time and it needs to be a
joint effort.
13. Your
friends will treat you differently when you have kids, it could be stereotyping
or isolating. This is the time to find couples that you have more in common
with if you don’t want to vegetate at home all weekends.
14. No
matter how much you spell it out, your single friends will not understand about
complicated marital issues and friends without kids will not understand baby
issues. Give it up already and move on !
15. Baby
banter and MIL bashing will not be entertained as normal conversation. If you
do need to vent, find someone who has similar issues to rant about.
16. Do
not bring your home to work and do not bring work home.
17. Draw
a line between personal information that can be shared with co-workers.
18. It
is ok to make some acceptable compromises in your job if you have a fantastic
boss, a peaceful day is more important than a few extra bucks in your bank
account. Peace of mind can extend your life while money may not.
19. If
you find yourself saying more negative stuff than positive about your boss or
your job, then it is seriously time to think of alternatives. Negativity
festers till it vents itself out in unpredictable manner.
20. If
you have a problem with something, DO something about it.
21. The
best way to teach a child is by doing it yourself and setting an example. Kids
learn faster by observation than listening.
22. You
can set your own rules for your child as long as they make sense to you.
23. Do
not let anybody make you feel inferior or inadequate.
24. Gender
inequality is not a myth but thankfully is slowly (very slowly) getting better.
There will be people in all spheres of life who will pull you down because you
are a woman, when they do that – Rise..
25. No
amount of education can compare to experience but education certainly gives you
an edge. At the same time don’t let your experience get clouded by any
education that you did not or could not have.
26. Do
not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can
27. Always
appreciate your loved ones and verbally so. It is never trivial to say Sorry’s
and Thank You’s even to your child.
28. Pick
something that you are good at and be even better
29. Never
stop reading, lack of time is not even an excuse. The busiest and the most
successful person out there has the same hours in a day as you. Make time for
what is important
30. Last
but definitely not the least – Live and Let Live. Most political problems at
home or office can be sorted out by letting people be.
