Cric in my head

Navrathri

2011-10-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

October is a joyous month full of festivities. It brings Navrathri and sometime, like this year, packs that and Diwali in it as well. Staying at home, maternal home that is, this whole week of Navrathri brought back so much of childhood memories. It was a weird sense of deja vu being around the whole family, with plenty of kids running around and all the festivities. It was weird in the sense that you see something that seems familiar just that you find that now you are no longer an active participant but also an observer really :) Anyways, more of that later.

Growing up in Delhi, the navrathri holidays are super fun for 2 reason - 1) Its the much needed respite from the 1st term exams that gets over in Sept 2) The winter just starts to peep in and the 2 week break is such a nice way to welcome the chilly incoming winter.

Navrathri is when the vacation kicks in first and the festivities much later. It could also be about the fact that its mostly the last 3 days that is of more eminence that any other days. But the only difference being that our north indian neighbors would do the puja every day of the festival and call girls over to break their fast (ok that didn't come out right! What I mean is that they fast everyday and in the evening, they do a puja and feed a couple of girls the prasad and only post which they can consume any food). Crazy no ! At least thats what we used to think those days, the concept that someone could starve themselves for the whole day during festivals when the first thing you should do is stuff your face was incomprehensible for us !

Navrathri is when cousins come together and have loads of fun.. Families get together to meet and make merry especially during Kolu season. My grandmother used to keep Kolu every single year and for some years my mother did too. Those were fun times, irrespective of whose house (grandparents house was always a stone's throw away from mine). Kolu is a hard core Tamil tradition and it always brings mixed feelings for the kids. There are happy things associated with it like the daily dose of sweets, the whole decorating and setting up bit etc. Then there are not so happy bits too, the whole wear traditional clothes coz 'mami's may come home and when someone does come over, their ever shrill voice that goes 'oru paatu paaden' etc ! I hated those bits I must say. I am not sure if that's just me or does every teenager or tween hate that as well, but I sure did hang around with a very morose expression.

Navrathri is also puja time when we do all kinds of pujas. Grandpa was always very particular about attendance and somehow despite that my brother used to escape. I guess a part of me did not escape because I didn't want to. I think it was nice to do these things while we could because now we hardly can even if we want to. I would sit through Ganesh Puja, Saraswati Puja, Ayuda puja and then Lakshmi puja. Saraswati puja is most fun because you need to keep your books near the god for full 3 days and cannot touch it till the puja is done. Even though there is really no reason you would have touched those books anyway, the concept always brought a lot of excitement :) After you are done though, grandpa insisted that we studied the same books for about 2 hours, which sucked big time !!

Ayuda Puja meant putting bindis on just about everything. The idea is to respect all the so called instruments in our life and take extra care of them that day e.g. Cars/ Bike/ Cycles/ blenders/ Fridge etc... We would walk around with haldi and kumkum that mom would give us in bowls and put colorful bindis on just about anything that was metallic !!

Vijaydashami also meant Ram Lila. In Delhi, that is just huge. We would plan for days ahead and buy tickets or plan on clothes that we would wear to go see Ram lila. If we were lucky, we would be taken to the Ram Lila maidan in Old Delhi, if not so lucky then the local Ram Lila in the nearest school playground. For those who don't know what that is, Ram Lila is like a carnival where there would be an enactment of Ramayan for 9 days culminating with the Ravan Vadh on Vijaydashami. The culmination is spectacular because there would be effigies of Ravan with all the 10 heads along with Ram and Sita. On the last day, the effigy of Ravan is burnt in a very grand way. I know it sounds like a grand act of arson :P But as a kid, its the ultimate fun ! The whole carnival atmosphere, buying silly things like paper swords or plastic Hanuman gadas, eating all kind of junk food and finally the fireworks ! Its worth waiting a whole year just for that....

Vijaydashami was also when my mom would drag me to my 'Paatu' teachers house (Carnatic teacher), make me fall on her feet and give her a tray full of god knows what! After a few years, i was a robot, used to just fall without any cues ! It would also mean a small paatu katcheri at my teachers house where she would make the students sing for the benefit of the parents and then give individual feedbacks on each one of them. The group singing was always funny for some reason and it would always end up in a giggling fit. Someone invariably would start with a whimper of a giggle and then before you know it the entire batch of about 12-15 girls would just start giggling. Despite the fact that it would happen every single year, my teacher was always very stoic about it. She used to keep a pen next to her and if she saw anyone with a hint of giggle or a bad note (shruthi/scale) for that matter, she would literally throw the pen at the poor soul...I think we have all had our share of pens being thrown at us and it didn't faze at a tiny bit :) Every year, she would also tell my mom that your daughter has a very nice voice but she is just not interested, if only she puts in some effort she can be wonderful... I think about that nostalgically even now because during all those years, I used to hate singing and was forced to learn. Now that I do like singing, I can't go back....

Back to the present, it has been a lovely week so far. Families getting together, people visiting every day, Kolu's in people's houses and temple visits. It has been a nice reminder of what could be had despite busy schedules and disparate lives.

Some things haven't changed - like my granny screaming at me for not taking a shower even at 11 in the morning and touching her 'prasadam' without taking a bath, my mom making me wear a bigger an bigger bindi coz whatever i wear is apparently just not visible enough !

Some things have - I can now sit and watch my younger cousins in their teens go thru the torture of 'Oru paatu paaden' and smile and it is somehow much more significantly important that Viv sits or at least watches all the puja and no one really cares if I even make an appearance near the god.

I watch the kids running around screaming and laughing while my granny is running behind them to make them stop (not so much running as waddling, but nonetheless) and it feels like yesterday that she was doing the same for me, my bro and my cousins. And now its the same but the next generation doing the exact same thing :) Life is funny that way....But all in all there is a lot to be thankful for and I hope someday Viv sees that too.....

2011-08-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

Read this really interesting article the other day where the writer basically collects responses to the same set of 5 questions from women around the world. It is really interesting because not only are the women in varied geographies, but they are also demographically different (ages, economic strata, religion etc.)

At the face of it, there may seem to be very varied experiences but I saw a lot of common thread also. I am hereby inspired to put my own by sort of self tagging myself.

What is the most challenging thing you have found about Mommyhood?

Till you get to a state of equilibrium, mommyhood itself is challenging and at all levels. In my opinion it takes about 10 months after you have had a kid for you to start breathing normally and not freak out over every small thing. Aside from that, the most challenging aspect is to take time out for yourself without the guilt that comes with it. It is very easy to be consumed and overwhelmed by the new arrival in our lives. Like someone else also mentioned, it is very easy to go days without taking a proper shower (I have done the 5 mins dash for so many weeks that I have lost count), or doing laundry, or set aside any time for a dinner and conversation with your spouse. It takes a sense of balance to even get past your routine and try to make time for other things. When you start wanting to make time is when the guilt hits you big time. You start comparing the need for that haircut Vs leaving your baby with the nanny/caregiver etc etc.. It is very important for new moms to aspire for that sense of balance and allow yourself to take time out for yourself because at the end of the day its is equally important to respect yourself as an individual first and a mother after.

More and more women are talking openly about issues, such as postpartum depression and breast feeding, that may have been considered taboo in the past. What pregnancy or childbirth related issues do you wish women had told you more about?

It is extremely heartening to see a lot of issues being openly discussed now with little or no judgement. I don't understand why certain topics are even taboo anymore, certainly not postpartum depression or breastfeeding. Where I come from BF is most natural and there is also a socially built in support system for a new mother which helps with most forms of baby blues. I personally think that postpartum depression is more prevalent in cultures where joint families are less common or where new moms rely on external caregivers rather than their own mom's or mom in laws.

I personally did a lot of fact finding from start to end, so I don't really have much in my list of issues someone had told me more about. There is just so much information out there nowadays, its also equally important to know when to stop turning your self into a Google junkie !

What is the greatest motherhood myth you have encountered as a mom yourself?

There are so many that it is difficult to zero in one one:

a. Babies need to drink water apart from BM for thirst. I heard this a zillion times and I would stick to the same response - BM has everything that a baby could possibly need till the age of 6 months and that's that.

b. Never allow babies to suck thumbs/ get used to pacifier/ dummy as its a tough habit to break- The truth is that kids who will take to pacifiers and dummies or thumbs will do it despite all your attempts. In fact more fervent you are in your attempts, the faster they will. By letting them get the sucking instinct out of their system by which ever means works most of the time.

c. When you have a baby, you need to learn to sacrifice - My mother has said this to me innumerable times :) (infact still does). Basically they mean stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the baby and everyone else. Thats what mom's do. I find that thought revolting. I personally believe that if you are not happy, you will have very little happiness to give.

d. And the greatest myth of them all - The belief that your baby needs to be at least in the 80th percentile of the growth charts. I have struggled with this for a long time till I realized this whole thing is a myth and that its perfectly fine if my baby is in the 50th or 60th percentile w.r.t a growth chart as long as he's healthy and active. There is just no sense is beating yourself up about it and you need to give a deaf ear to people who say - "oh he looks so thin" !

What would your advise be to new moms on how to tackle being a working mom? What worked best for you?

a. Prepare yourself mentally. Its a mental conditioning to be and successfully be a working mom. Thankfully I have had a working mom, so at least that conditioning came easy to me. It is very important to be self aware that as a working mom, life is going to be a certain way for yourself and the child. It may or may not be better than the lives of other moms around you but it will be unique and different in the same way that you are unique and different as a parent.

b. Know your finances. It is very important to be aware of where you stand w.r.t finances in your family life because life could throw a curveball at you. You could be totally prepared for the first day at work after the maternity leave only to find a month down the line that you think different now and it doesn't seem worth it. If you do find yourself at a crossroad where you need to decide whether to work, work part time or stay at home, finances will also play a big part in your decision.

c.Start early at 6 months or wait till the child is at least 1. I know that there could be many who don't agree to this. But personally, starting early allows for the baby to adjust as he/ she grows up. Starting when the baby is 1 allows for you to get lesser apprehensions and separation anxieties. 6 months and 1 year are also in between stages where stranger anxiety/ separation anxiety is not that prevalent in babies, which makes it a good time for you to venture out. Of course at the end of the day it depends highly on the caregiver choices you have as well.

d. Involve your colleagues/ bosses in your decision - You never know where and which quarter you can get emotional support and advice from

Women, especially as mothers, are always trying to achieve balance. Do you think this is possible as a mom?

It depends on how you define balance. For me, if I have managed about 5 hours of constructive office work,come home to a reasonably tidy house, taken my son to the park in the evening, get some cooking done and the toddler fed and tucked in the bed by 9, I call that a major success in a day. This also means I have significant time post 9 PM for that quiet dinner with hubby or a pamper routine for myself :) But that doesn't happen everyday. And that is ok because I allow myself to have off days. Balance is different for different people. Find what your sense of balance is and I am sure it is possible as long as you allow yourself that margin of error and have reasonable expectations.

Its not easy !

2011-02-13T10:40:00.000-08:00

Days are just a blur and 24 hours just ain't enough ! After a day doing all kinda random stuff, shopping, visiting people, having people over, cooking etc etc...All that we wanted to do was crash. Guess what, everybody did crash @ 9 (including guys who were jet lagged, guys who were busy with house move and unpacking etc.). But I don't get to crash. Viv gets to crash but he chooses not to, so I don't get to ..
It took me an hour to calm him down enuf to make him sleep. And another hour just to wind up things around the house.
For all the people who crave for kids or are planning on one, this is what I hafta say - Take your time.. take all the time in the world, coz this is a one way street. Once you start down this road, there is no turning back. Not for at least another 5 years (is what I have been told, who knows!)....

Hang in there Rads, hang in there....

Filmology then and now..

2011-01-27T02:09:00.001-08:00

Someone recently asked me recently if I saw Ravan or Ravanan and i replied an emphatic NO. Of course with all the publicity one thing everybody makes sure nowadays is to tell you every little bit about a movie whether you like it or not. So I suppose a lot of what I had heard and what I saw as trailers sort of sealed the fate of that movie for me.

I like to call myself an avid cine goer but I would be lying if I said that I watch all kinds of movies. Thats something that sounds good in my head but its not true. I basically like to watch a movie for its entertainment value and of course for good movie making as long as the movie does not depress me. "The movie does not depress me" actually is a big pre-requisite for me. I strongly believe that I don't want to watch a movie that is preachy or tells me about stark and sad realities of life. I see that all around me, I don't need to spend 200 bucks and waste 3 hours to see it all over again on a big screen. I also do not like to see the central characters die a gruesome or sad death. I just don't understand movies like that. Why would you want to kill central characters whom you spend 2 hours in the movie making the audience like and appreciate ? Strange.. (Or maybe I just don't like stories like that. I really really like happy endings)

I look back and I know it wasn't always like this. As kids we were crazy about movies as a family and used to watch all kind of movies (crap included). Apart from hindi movies, I remember there used to be this short dark tamil chap who used to come to our house in his moped and his huge bag of tamil cassettes (it was cassettes those days :)) We used to take about 3 movies a week mostly during vacations and other non exam times.

General tamil movies reviews and box office collections were a mystery to us in Delhi far away from any tamil community. All we had was the word of mouth assurance given to us by this Sarvanan chap. And interestingly he used to give us that 5 star rating for every movie that he used to give us. He would pretend to search for good movies out of that cloth bag of his and by the end of 2 months we would realize that we had watched just about all the movies from that bag and there was just no filter criteria. With every cassette he would take out he would say with so much pride "Arumayaana padam saar/madam" . It soon became a joke in my house and with my limited tamil vocabulary I started to make fun of him everytime he said that by saying "arumayaana padam illai erumayaana padam" ! (erumaye = buffalo)

But the point is that I was a lot more open to movies at that time which has made me watch tamil movies from the 60's and 70's like 16 vayathinile and meendum kokila to agni nakshatrams types. I think if I had those choices today I would really weigh them before watching any of those.. We watched happy movies like "Kadalikka nerumillai" to "Micheal madana kamaraj", arty movies and family dramas by K Balachandar and melodramas by Visu and of course some sad ones like Nayagan etc.. (sad as in sad endings, story of unending misery etc.. )

Part of it was because we definitely did not know what the movie was eventually about and partly because we would see all the so called famous ones anyways (famous according to Sarvanan who also, it turned out, was a huge Vijaykant fan !! He has scarred my childhood permanently by making me watch 90% of Vijaykant movies that have ever released!)

But the point is that I was never choosy about it. But now I always wonder a) Is the movie gonna make me sad b) Is the movie preachy c) Do people die unecessarily etc etc.. I am much happier watching above average movies in which a) there are good looking people b) good soundtrack c) good actors d) good story. You see how the good story kinda features in the end :)) Which probably explains why I actually enjoy Yash Chopra/ Karan Johar kinda movies..

Hmm.... who says things become simpler as you grow older :))

Of comforts and changes

2011-01-17T22:51:00.001-08:00

New year has started with a bang.. V took a shot at standing up on his own and even attempted a few independent steps. It was such a joy to see this little one who did not even know to sit up, standing up an clapping :) There was also teeth sprouting which became a reason to rejoice at home. I wonder at what point do we stop rejoicing all the milestones and start sighing at them with disbelief :))

New Year also gave way to many instances of falling and banging various body parts against all hard surfaces. Fortunately I am not one of those moms who are given to dramatics and seem more traumatized than the baby who has suffered an injury. But V seems to be one of those babies whose eyes look out for me when he does fall and will come to me and insist on being pampered and kissed for about a minute before resuming mischief.
I marvel at the healing powers god gives to new moms, I personally never knew I had any capacity to comfort someone like that instantly :) But it seems to work big time. I also wish god would leave this power with me for a long long time to come. Because I know for a fact that there will be times when he will be hurt by some kind of misery, feeling of losing, feeling of helplessness, heartbreaks etc.. I wish I have this power to help him heal then. I really wish he could be made to feel better by just a hug and a kiss when someone breaks his heart or he loses that prize that he worked hard for to someone else. I really really wish..

On that note I also picked up my phone and called my mom to speak with her generally. I wanted to ask her how I was as a baby and was there any similarity between how V behaves and me. So mom tells me that i was very independent even as a baby and there were very few instances when I would actually cry. She throws in that 'Even as a baby you were not very demonstrative and a little repressed'

It was a 'What the what' moment right then and there for me ! :) My own mom calling me repressed. But then I do look back and understand that I have my own defence mechanism and one of them being non demonstrative and not allowing myself to feel very vulnerable.

I think its good that children are so vulnerable, and that they reach out to whatever comforts them and once comforted they are good to go. Maybe its something that I can learn from this little thing. For the new year I tell myself that its ok to be vulnerable sometimes and reach out to what comforts us. Coz in the end if it helps, why not !

Amazing how the little ones teach us stuff :))

Welcome 2011

2011-01-05T23:00:00.001-08:00

Things I wanna do in 2011

1. Find a job that really really keeps me engaged

2. Find some way to take time out for myself and not feel bloody guilty about it

3. Take more vacations and short breaks

4. Make a new friend

5. Find a baby sitter or day care arrangement that works for me

6. Loose some weight

7. Travel on work

8. Change my hair

9. Chalk out more Date Nights

10. Not miss a single opportunity to take photos @home and of loved ones.

I could be happy with a 70% success ratio :)

@@##!!$$%%

2010-12-05T00:08:00.000-08:00

Want to scream out loud today. Have you ever felt that there are times when all you want to do is to curl up an cry ? Today is one of those days.
I am told that I cannot handle disappointments in life. I am also told that I am not good at keeping any extreme feelings to myself. What I don't understand is why I need to ?
I have never been the kind of person who shies away from showing what I feel. Whether it is any small amount of a fleeting feeling or something immensely huge. But apparently for the sake of civility or social obligations or family obligations, we need to learn to keep a straight face.
I don't fucking buy it !

Youth!

2010-11-29T01:39:00.000-08:00

Its not that you are bolder in your 20's, its just that you are highly oblivious to everything around..

9 months in, 9 months out

2010-10-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

Time definitely takes on its own pace with a baby and now that Viv's 9 months old :) It just seems apt for me to break my blogger's block and write something.

Its been a roller-coaster ride the past one year and I was just thinking about how closely I resembled a cow this time last year :) But then again am not that much thinner now, so probably didnt hafta think back so much :D

R says that mommy hood came quite naturally to me and that I seemed quite into it from the min Viv was born. I will admit that my sense of mommy-hood is unique in itself and yes that did come quite early on to me. I guess it also enriched my life in a certain sense. I am a lot more organized and a whole lot more paranoid now...

It is difficult to explain the kind of anxiety and paranoia that a baby brings to your life.. Its like saying bye to normal blood pressure for ever ! You will henceforth only hyperventilate over every small thing (which is exaggerated 20 times in your head) and the first possible thought that comes to your head in any situation is the worst case scenario.. You will become a What-If pessimist overnight and convince yourself that its all for the greater good, coz come on , when you are prepared for the worst anything good is a bonus right ?!

For a rookie mom- to- be I sure had a lot of sheer optimism. In retrospect, they seem more like delusions now, but nonetheless. For all the I told you so's I have heard since then, i again wonder why nobody tells you or talks about these specifics early on to set your expectations right. Most co-moms' even your own mom makes it all sound so instinctive and such a given fact. But the truth is, that its not all instinctive, although you seamless add them to your life or selflessly give or adjust when it comes down to it. But seriously nothing is far from the truth when they say that everything associated with it is the most natural thing.

I feel that motherhood is 20% instinct or gut feeling, 40% acquired knowledge and 40% knowledge of your own baby or derivations from your own experience.

Matters that actually should probably cause a concern sorted themselves out for most parts. These include Viv sleeping only on one side, irregular shape of the head, slow start to crawling and introduction to bottle and solids. They all sorted themselves out most beautifully.

Its the ones that I did not anticipate or think seriously about are the ones that made me/make me anxious on a daily basis. These include the fact that Viv self weaned himself much to my disappointment at 5 months, he uses his bottle as a pacifier instead of an actual pacifier, does not like to sit and indulge in activities that involve sitting and of course the mother of all - sleeping issues !

When Viv was brought home, I was well prepared for the night wakings and 2 hourly feeds, but I did not anticipate waking up at 3 am on a daily basis for the first 4 weeks and listening to a wailing baby who apparently was just exercising his lungs ! Really.. did not expect or understand this. Altho, that did stop at about 6 weeks.

Then came the sleeping only on one side anxiety.. That was just too weird for words.. He was downright partial to one side to the extent that for weeks and months he refused to lie down or sleep or turn his head any other way.. That of course led to a lop sided shape of the head. Now, the problem with discussing such issues with your Ped is that even while you are saying this, you know you bungled up somewhere ! Its probably because of something that you did or do, that causes babies to get into habits such as this. So even when I am telling the doc about my apprehensions about a lop sided head, I am chiding myself inside my head saying - you idiot you know this is all coz of you, who gave you a small baby to raise to begin with ??!! :D Thankfully that slowly started to sort out by itself by about 4 months and the head is back to normal now !!! (phew...)

Then came (and continues till date) the sleep issues. Viv had settled himself to a once in 3 hours feeding routine so much so that even when he was not hungry and had grown to a stage where he could sleep thru the night, he still got up every 3 hours ! At first i continued to give him a bottle but had to stop after he turned 7 months coz the Doc put his foot down.. Its been a struggle to break this sleep pattern of his and makes me wonder at times if this will continue all the way to college, where instead of a bottle, he's gonna wake me up every 3 hours in the night for a sandwich !! (haha i jest in a purely cynical way, there are nights when I feel like shooting myself to get over the sleep deprivation!)

Of course there have been a zillion rewarding moments as well and they simply outweigh any crap that he has put us thru :) (kinda explains why we havent returned him back to the hospital where he came from :P)
He is growing up to be quite a monster and a hot headed monster at that.. albeit a cute one :)

So, taking a cue from dear girl Parul, a few words of wisdom for Viv from this overworked, underpaid, sleep deprived and tired mommy at 9 months.. (and wise.. wise..)

1. Exterior beauty, people around us and financial position always change, its a given. What may not and is not susceptible to external factors is a solid character and inner strength. Lose that and you will hardly have anything to stand on, anything else is replaceable.
2. When you find someone who loves you not for what you can be but for what you are, hold on to them. Conversely don't fall for someone who has 3 qualities from the 10 you are looking for, fall for someone who has the top 3 qualities out of the 10 you are looking for, the rest is negotiable.
3. Its not always important to save money, its important to save money with a goal in mind. Most people who do not save (including me) do not do so because they have very vague and abstract goals..
4. It is also important to live your life to the fullest and not compromise on how you want to live your life. If your dream life is above your current means, work towards it, but do not compromise on the dream.
5. Do not learn from other people's mistakes, make your own. At least that way, I will know that we raised you to have enough guts and gumption to make mistakes in the first place. Your mom has sincere respect for people who come up after having made mistakes and learnt from them, rather than make no mistakes and stagnate or worse make mistakes and not learn from them ! (know people from both categories). Remember that mistakes made now will be experience when you look at it 5 years down the line.
6. Stay away from anything bad but.. only after you know and understand that its bad for you. Do not base opinions and decisions on someone else's experience or opinions. They maybe doing the same, in which case it could just be a bad case of Chinese whisper !
7. Respect elders and their opinions/suggestion but always always make your own choice (except when it comes to me, coz you know mommy knows the best :D)
8. Read. If there is one thing that will keep you company during rainy days, lonely days, lonely nights, boring journeys, long flights, lonesome dinners - its a good book. There is nothing else in the world quite like it. (and no, iPhone/ iPod does not count!). A book will also open doors to the rest of the world to you, whether its this very world that we live in or imaginary. I can go on and on about this, but you know the drill..
9. Do not mix up family and friends, they are separate for a reason. We do not choose our immediate family and rarely our extended ones but we can choose our friends. Do so wisely and make as many as you can. These are people who you will find yourself spending a considerable amount of un-inhibited time with. And its important to find people you can be uninhibited with. The reason I also ask you to make as many friends thru your life is coz people move away too fast and you never know when you can run out of friends.
10. Last but not the least - Parents do not raise kids expecting something in return, but respect the fact that they also sacrifice and could have just as easily cut corners bringing up someone. The very reason they do not do so, warrants that the kids pay them back in their own chosen ways when they can.

I suspect this may have been too much wisdom for this small cutie 9 month old head, but I had to put it down somewhere for the sake of posterity and no, this is not a conclusive list !

Without taking up more space and continue to ramble, god bless and keep smiling. :)

By The Water Cooler

2010-10-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

Dear girl Parul's 2nd book is almost out now. I am quite itchy to read it, anybody who has read BUV should be too :)
She has a cool contest going on here, do check it out !

Blip

2010-10-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

If I had to mention one regret in my life so far - it is to have traveled some more while we could !

If wishes were horses

2010-07-15T11:21:00.000-07:00

Now that's a phrase I can never understand..

I have been on a rewind and reminisce mode off late, looking at some old pictures, thinking about some old times, sighing all to myself etc.. you get the drift..

Cut back to present and believe me the present jolts me back to it with a shrill cry :), i often find myself wishing how it would be to mix the present with the past.

I mean, live the present but pick certain things from the past to co habitat with it or vice-versa even... It could be a place, could be a state of mind, could be certain people, could be certain things.. many possibilities..

I really wonder how it would be, my mind does conjure a nice picture, an inviting one even.. but I guess past is past for a reason and its just plain weird to bring it back.. Not that the present is any less but its just a little more serious and a little less fun :)

The brain says move on lassie ! and the heart says - stop a while, relive it at least in your mind and heart :)

I promise

2010-06-18T01:40:00.001-07:00

to not post something for the sake of it. There seems to be either too much of mommy mush or random twittery posts. Both of which annoy me later.
So here goes - I am not gonna post anything till I actually write something decent to blog about..

Ps: Have many drafts in an incomplete state but thanks to Viv I never get back to them.

blip...

2010-04-30T23:37:00.001-07:00

What is wrong with Mani Ratnam ? Just when I thought that it was just a phase when he was making one hindi movie after the other with bollywood stars and it will get over, he goes ahead and signs Ranbir for his next ?? Seriously, Tam movie industry has lost an amazing film maker..

Blip

2010-04-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

My only constant partner nowadays - Self Doubt.. Does not leave my side at all...

Take a bow !

2010-03-18T00:37:00.000-07:00

I had been referred to this website called flipkart.com by someone and to my immense delight, its a wonderful site. They are basically an online bookshop but what really sets them apart is their wonderful order provisioning and the fact that they are based out of bangalore. Which essentially means that if I order a book today evening, I will promptly get it day after early morning. Now, this for someone who is kinda immoblized right now, is a boon of exponential order..
No venturing out to Blossoms or Landmark, sift thru aisles, stand in the payment counter (especially in Landmark which is bleddy crowded all the time!) or desperately find books ! Here you have everything at the click of a button :)
Very impressive indeed ...

Schedule for the sake of posterity...

2010-03-16T13:12:00.000-07:00

7 am - a very tired and groggy mom hands over Viv to his grandmom. Fresh and rejuvenated grandmom looks at the fresh and rejuvenated grandson and love is in the air.. she coos at him saying where is my sweetie grandson..the next 2 hrs are a blur as yours truly desperatly catches a quick 2 hrs nap. I have been told that he is very cheerful during that time and poops.
9 am - a very hassled grandmom wakes up the mom - heres your son, hes hungry ! (i don't fail to notice how quickly it has changed from my grandson to your son !!)
9.30 am - feeding over but baby not able to sleep
10 am - after much rocking, a little sleep looks imminent
10.30 am - Viv sleeps finally (if I wasnt so tired would jump in joy). Yours truly wonders if she can also catch a quick nap with Viv but dreams are shattered when my mom yells for me to get up to finish all chores b4 Viv wakes up again
11 am - finally managed to brush and have coffee. Viv stirs in his sleep and I am praying with all my fingers crossed. Pat him back to sleep for 20 mins.
11.30 am - mom points out that she has already heated up breakfast twice by now which i quickly gobble up just to cut short that conversation !
12 pm - sterilization process for all Viv's stuff
12.15 pm - Viv has dirtied his diaper and screams for me to get going.
12.30 pm - Feed him but no point trying to make him sleep now, he is fully awake, put him in his crib in the living room. Viv is chewing his hands
1 pm - his great grandfather visits and is promptly awarded a smile
1.30 pm - diaper change
1.45 pm - my mom's gives me a lectre about how i suck at time management and how it is lunch time and I have neither had lunch and nor made Viv sleep.. i slowly realize how hungry I am..
2 pm - feed and rock him to sleep
2.30 - finally sit for lunch, mom is still glaring at me..
3 pm - make a bottle for Viv and decide to check emails
3.30 pm - Viv threatens to wake up again, mom's yelling at me for not sleeping with him and I am getting beaten in mafia wars on facebook. my cup runeth over ! i promptly pat him baq to sleep and catch a nap myself
4.30 - Viv air boxes me to indicate that he's hungry and i have to get up to feed him and change him
5 pm - all fresh Viv decides to look around, is put in his crib in the living room where he stares at the curtains first and then the fan..I manage to shower.
6 pm - Viv is slightly tired with all the staring and just when i decide to change the screnery for him he poops.
6.30 pm - feed and diaper change (again !)
6.45 pm - dozes off in my lap much to my annoyance and i dont want him to sleep in the evening
7.30 pm - diaper change and time for his oil bath. oil massage commences for 15 mins.. he likes the idea of a spa immensely :D
8 pm - bath time and massage with johnsons bedtime lotion (which is my pathetic attempt to make him feel sleepy !)
8.30 pm - lights are off, lullabies are sung and the baby dozes off.
9 pm - dinner in the house begins
9.30 pm - Viv wakes up for a diaper change. I feel like kicking P&G, whats the point of a diaper if the baby can actually scream for changing it !! I jump to it in the middle of my dinner
10 pm - i resume my dinner while his dad takes after the baby entertainment
10.30 pm - feeding over but no sign of sleep
11 pm - the dad is feeling sleepy by now and is threatening to hand over the baby to me.. by then having chatted with whoever is online and jumped a few levels at mafia wars, i am tempted to hand over the non sleeping baby back to the hospital.
11.30 pm - Viv no sleep, the dad is asleep, the granny is asleep. Only nocturnal creatures are awake - Viv , his mom and his uncle.
11.45 pm - Viv hollers and i have no idea why.. try to feed him, burp him, rock him, pat him, switch the AC on, reduce the temp, change hands, change rooms.. no effect.. give colic drops.. some relief
12 am - too tired and hand over Viv to Rahul.
12.15 am - sterlize stuff like a mad woman, make a bottle for Viv
12.30 am - diaper change
1 am - finally some signs of sleep, rocking helps.
3 am - Viv kicks to indicate that hes hungry.. feed, change diapers
3.30 am - baby sleeps again, mom is fully awake
6 am - dad wakes to go for a shower, wakes me up with all the noise..
6.15 am - Viv decides why should he be left behind and wakes up for a feed. feed and change diaper.
6.45 am - seems to doze off..
7 am - false alarm, no sleep.. i finally take him out and hand him over to my mom..

Look how far we've come my baby ... (taking a cue from shaniya twain i suppose)

2010-03-15T23:58:00.000-07:00

So.. Here are a few milestones that Viv seems to have achieved since..

1. The first social smile at 6 weeks that was a total delight for everyone involved..
2. The smile has quickly tuned into suble laughter now :)
3. Can follow objects and is extremely fascinated by curtains.. (go figure!)
4. His sleeping pattern still sends me into a frenzy as hes an angel one day and sleeps at 9 to wake up only at 6, but other times will not budge till 1 am
5. Can definitely recognise his mom and mine :)
6. Thinks his dad is the "Wipro Uncle" who comes home in the evenings :D
7. Is very partial to his right side, so much so that it has become the butt of joke in our house.. Everybody comes up with how hilarious it would be if he continues like this and becomes a cricketer or goes to school or ... (the list is endless)
8. I am singularly concerned with the above mentioned partiality, trying my best to make him see the world on his left side too :P
9. We seem to have finally decoded the cryptic cry's...when you have exhausted all the sane reasons, just give him his colic drops :p
10. Loves to kick...
11. Cannot hold his neck properly but would love to be held upright !
12. ooh's and aah's at everyone who talks to him, mostly in a complaining tone
13. Can make out when i am scolding him and promptly hollers to get me scolded by my mom..(clever tactic i must say !)
14. Has learnt to push things away, whether its his bottle or bib or me (gasp !)
15. Used to love hot water bath, now prefers slightly cold water, has a totally scandalized expression when the water is even little hot..:)
16. Hates power cuts, has single handedly made my mom to get the UPS for the entire house and an AC for his room (a feat that we couldn't achieve in fifteen odd years !)
17. And last but not the least - has finally outgrown his newborn sized clothes !! yeaaa :) (but slightly sad too coz we hardly used them more than a couple of times each. sheeshh how fast they grow !)

Thank god for small mercies

2010-03-04T00:35:00.001-08:00

It took 5 weeks for the exhaustion and irritation to set it. Sleep depravation came in early but decided to wait out for the other 2 to join before acting out !

Viv has been bawling quite without reason now a days. It takes the entire house (which is saying a lot coz I have my mom, bro, hubby, grandpa and grandma all at home!), to soothe him sometimes, even changing hands every 10 mins.. On my part, i frustratingly carry out the entire rigmarole of going thru all the possibilities - feed, burp, swaddle, unswaddle, cool the room, warm the room, sing, rock, bathe and finally when nothing works, i decide its colic and give him his colic drops.. It takes about an hour but at the end he does kinda dozes off, but the awful thing is that we still have no clue why he was bawling and what worked ! damn !

I am also sick and tired of hearing about babies who weren't like him or babies who were worse.. I know i know, I am at short fuse nowadays.. But believe me, its damn irritating when friends just say that ya babies are like this only, you just have to wait it out.. I agree but thats not to say i don't find that annoying... Plus its not like i like them giving advices as well.. yes, I am a complicated personality now and nothing seems to please me :))

I also find myself complaining quite a bit nowadays about how tough its become to soothe Viv and how sleep depraved I am.. But I want to stop doing that and for once thank god for other small things that I definitely have to thank for.. Apparently things will ease out when hes about 3 months old, so whats that compared to an entire lifetime, isn't it ? (bigger picture, helloo !)

So, here goes:

1. I am really glad that Viv is not fussy about being held by others, if he had clung just to me or was fussy about being held only by me, it would have driven me insane by now..
2. I am really glad that Viv is also not fussy about being fed in a bottle. The pump is my best friend now and gives me some hours of peace of mind..
3. I am really thankful for the fact that when he is damn sleepy, he will sleep with whoever is holding him and however hes being held.
4. I am really glad that we at least have a bathing routine in the night that sort of set and there are hardly any deviations there.
5. I am really thankful for the fact that even though its just been 5 weeks, he has let me go out on several occassions for shopping, for a nice birthday dinner and a few get togethers with friends :)
6. I am glad that he is growing well and even smiles at us sometimes :)

So, there ... in perspective, many things to be glad about..

First things first

2010-03-01T23:35:00.000-08:00

I can see my toes, no let me reprase that, I can actually touch and paint my toenails now :)) It sure feels good to be able to do that after few odd months of being a beach whale !
It has been a good recovery so far and I have so much to thank my OB for that. I had a planned C Section, despite all the raised eye brows from friends and acquaintances and a good amount of chiding from my mom. I guess the first question anybody asks and that too so instinctively is an emphatic "Why". Now that I have heard so many why's I guess it must seem very strange and non natural to people when they hear that. There were some who were polite enough to mask it and some who very certainly were not and some even downright judgemental about it.

Anyhoo, to cut the long story short, from the very begining I was very sure of that fact that, a planned c is what is wanted and I had my very good reasons for it and did not need anyone's blessings or approval for the same. My doc was very supportive I must say although she did try a little bit to show me the goodness of a natural delivery and how easy it can be. But I personally do not like uncertanities just being the kind of person that I am and managed to convince her otherwise. She was gracious enough to let me chose without undue pushing or brainwashing :) (although she herslf is extremely pro au natural !)

They say that a good doctor is half the battle won and I have to agree. Dr. Praveena Shenoi was my OB-GYN and without any doubt the best in banaglore in my opinion. If anybody needs a reference, please IM me. It took me about 3 trial and errors to get to her and boy was I glad I did ! I believe that a doctor should put you at ease and not add to any apprehensions you may already have. And she did just that when I met her for the first time. No matter how many patients she sees in a day or how tired she would be, as a patient you would not realize that because even at 8 in the night or 6 in the morning, she greets you with the same affable smile :)

I remember when I met her the first time, I was in a very fragile state of mind as i was pregnant immediately after a miscarriage. I was already frustrated having tried out 3 other so called famous OB Gyn's in bangalore who were just plain annoying ! So, when I told her - "This maybe the one of the million babies that you help deliver but this is my first and I would like the kind of attention that this deserves from you, I would like you to help me with all the paranoid questions that I have and I will reach out to you for all the so called crisis situations in my head", she calmly said "I understand" and gave me her cell number. That clinched it for me and I knew that I had the right doctor..

There are doctors who put you at ease as soon as you talk to them and she is one of them. God knows how many crazy situations and scares we have had during the 9 months including the last ultrasound episode where the radiologist told us to get the baby out about a week before my scheduled surgery. She has been a constant support and voice of reason during the entire time and that is the mark of a stellar doctor !

She is also not the conventional sorts who tell you to rest the whole time as you are in a delicate condition, on the other hand she used to keep telling me that pregnancy is neither a disease nor a handicap so I shouldnt treat it like one. Infact she is one of the rare doctors who would tell me to be active and excercise the whole time (the ones that was allowed and thanks to that I actually dropped 10 kgs just 2 weeks after the surgery !). She was patient with my mum, who god knows is the only person more paranoid than me and told her very gently that I could eat whatever the hell I wanted and if I didnt feel like, not to force me. (during the annoying first trimester !).

During the memorable surgery she actually kept me occupied by talking to me the whole time and guiding me thru the process. The surgery by itself was such a breeze due to her and people dont believe me when I tell them that i was on my feet and walking the next day.

Till date i never experienced any major pain or complications and the incision scar is all but invisible (really!). The other grouse that most women have, is the feeling of being stranded alone after getting discharged from the hospital. This is mainly coz now the focus shifts to the baby and the baby has a doc for him/herself. The woman unless there are complications does not need her OB GYN anymore, so its a bit frustrating to be left to fend for ourselves with a brand new baby that we really dont know what to do with and weird things happening to our bodies trying to come back to its pre pregnancy state !
But thankfully she did not ditch us so fast and hand held enough for me to ease into mommyhood without having to worry about myself as well. Within 3 weeks, she had me declared fit enough to start an active routine and to do whatever the hell i wanted :) (almost quote unquote :p)

Her husband incidently is my baby's pediatrician, Dr. Arvind Shenoi, who if possible is even more famous than her ! He is simply the best ped in Bangalore and boy am I glad to get him or what. Although its a crazy rig to get appointments with him and there is a huge waiting everytime we go to the clinic. But the moment he smiles at us and touches the baby, it makes every frustrating waiting minute worthwhile ! There is just nobody in the world that my baby is so calm with ! Not even me, believe it or not :))

Anyways, this blog kinda transgressed into an ode to my doctors, but I guess that it is justified given how much I have to be thankful to them for :)

Welcome Vivaan

2010-02-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since i came here. Mainly due to a weird lapse of memory me thinks :) Now that i am insanely hooked to FB thanks to Mafia wars (please do not ask me about my fixation, the only excuse that i have is that killing/knifing mobsters relaxes me :p), blogger seems like an overkill with redundant twitter like one liners.
But enough of that, here's welcoming Vivaan to the world. Welcome my darling baby, 'tis not a bad world for most parts :) You have although come into a kooky family :P, as proud as we are about it !

blip

2009-12-16T21:18:00.001-08:00

I would pick practicality over sentiments any day ...

Signs

2009-12-13T17:12:00.000-08:00

2 of my lovely online friends had told me that this was a perfect time to chronicle the journey so far. Today i got one of those weekly updates from what to expect saying absolutely the same thing ! :) So, I am gonna take this as a sign and do exactly that.

I am still making up my mind in terms of what is TMI and what isn't, so pliss to bear. And yes, there will be a dear baby post soon :)

It happens only in India !

2009-12-06T21:54:00.000-08:00

Our office has this strange rule of checking people's laptop bags in the morning as you enter the premises. Its strange for reasons ranging from the fact that the security has no clue what they are really looking for, to that most companies that I know frisk people when they leave the premises not while entering :)) So its more like we don't care what you carry out of here, but just be careful of what u r getting in :P
Of course they started this tradition after the bangalore bomb blasts incidents sometime back. Now, I think somewhere the security team kinda lost track of what was the original intention, with security guard looking at my small hand sanitizer bottle and asking me "what ees this madam ?". I mean what did they really think it was ??

Anyhoo I digress... Soo, as gender sensitive the company is, we have female security guards as well.. This sweet lady today morning while doing her monotonous chore of opening my lappy bag and taking a peek inside, thought it was totally ok for her to give me health tips :)
Opens my bag and instead of looking into the bag, looks at my ever growing tummy and tells me that I should drink a glass of warm water with salt in the night before sleeping !! (!!).
Aside from the fact that I don't think she even looked at the insides of my bag, zip off - zip on, the tip didnt make much sense either. :p
But as I am slowly begining to get used to these random happenings now a days, I graciously thank her for the tip and proceed to the elevator ...

I admit..

2009-12-04T09:27:00.001-08:00

that I suck at social relationships.. and I just dont get along very well with other women !

ps: This is a self realization that has been long coming .. sigh...

The secret society

2009-12-03T08:16:00.000-08:00

Just happened to watch Oprah today on the hallmark, "The truth about motherhood" special and I said to myself, this is it ! This is what I was searching for. There were people who actually felt that there is a secret society of motherhood out there who are sworn to secrecy by the brethren. They all know what it entails, the highs and lows. They know what to watch out for and more importantly they know what was not told to them by the women around with best interests, best friends, awesome moms (in law). But they don't seem to propagate that pool of information !

Of course the alternate theory that I have is that they have absolute temporary amnesia (something that lasts from the time, the test is +ve to when the kid is about 2) !
For the most parts the show was about experience of motherhood, which I can't really comment about, I still have 6 more weeks to go (almost there !). But the general consensus was that as a clan, we need to prepare our fellow members on what to expect truly and be honest, really honest about how it may not be so rosy after all ..

But here's a show where people are at least acknowledging the fact that there are tons of things that people, ahem women, never tell you about ! Maybe for good, as it may really turn you into a paranoid creature from hell or convince you to continue that pill that you were almost gonna stop :P

Anyways, it has me convinced that women either feel bad about talking about the things that they struggle with (probably coz we traditionally don't like to think that motherhood can be so daunting or that some of us actually struggle to get it right, or worse, some of us dont actually get it !), Or that after the baby comes, they are so much in awe of all the changes including the lovely being in front of them, that somehow magically everything else fades into the background.

I am not sure exactly what the reason is, I think I have spoken to people of all sorts in the last 7 odd months (amazing how it seems almost natural to reach out to other preggo women or women with infants and share things so openly, that you wouldn't even dream of otherwise !). E.g.

1. Women who actually claimed to sleepwalk during the entire 9 months of pregnancy - I mean, come on ? Were u on grass the whole time? How can you actually say that it was all a daze ? Well, I don't actually doubt them coz they don't seem to remember a single negative incident or experience during that time. Everything based on all evidence was a smooth roll. I doubt the very judgement of some people having such blessed lives !

2. Women who gush from the very moment who announce that they are having a baby till the time, they actually display the aforementioned baby - How is so much gushing possible ? As a couple, between us, I don't think we have so much of cumulative gush capacity. And from the first day onwards, they sort of make a promise to themselves that they are gonna be the epitome of supreme motherhood. Who will remain cheerful and take everything in their stride.
When my home kit turned positive, i called hubby to say - "You know what, the test is positive" in the most sombre tone (please note, not I am pregnant or we are having a baby, woohooo ! But the test was positive). Darling hubby believe it or not actually says - "Umm.. am in a meeting, can I call you back ?" Thats our gushing quotient for you ! Not that we are not happy or very excited at the prospect, we are ! Just that we just don't seem to have the gushing capability as some. This ones since then become a long standing joke and has gone into our baby's book as well. God bless the kid :).

3. Women who say "when the baby comes, you will forget everything and nothing else will matter " - I am almost willing to give the benefit of doubt here coz maybe they just got so completely steamrolled that everything did fade in to the background. But when you look back at it, at least then you should be able to remember the testing times right ? Whats your excuse then missy ?

4. An alternate version of the above where women say "When the baby comes, you will know exactly what to do" - Really ? How , magic ? I think more than the fact that mommies all around kinda get this magical mommy ability to do things, its the other way around. The babies actually get used to whatever we dole out as maternal instincts.. I am sure the wailing, colicky baby after 2 hours is like - Ok so that's your solution ? I guess I will just have to make do with it and out of sheer exhaustion, just stops bawling its heart out ! The poor mother at which point is busy celebrating her maternal instincts victory.

5. The one who does and feels as per the book - There is this friend of mine who wallows in the warmth of maternal feelings. She is a mature and a super intelligent woman, but when it comes to babies, she actually has said things like "After 9 months of carrying and nurturing the baby, I wanted to feel the pain of childbirth" (??!!), Maybe its just me, but I find it very difficult to understand or digest these kind of statements. Who willingly asks for pain ? She did go thru it mind you, valiantly as well. Full 11 hours of labour. I do want to believe that i super love the baby inside of me to bits, but do i really crave the feeling of labour ? As much as its a natural process, I don't think so ! It frightens the bejesus out of me ..

Before anybody else from the mommy brigade jumps on me, pliss to note that I do acknowledge that maybe its just me !

6. The ones who have an opinion about everything (and do not hesitate to share unsolicited opinions) - So annoying isn't it ! You don;t have a baby yet? You havent taken off from work yet ? You haven't bought any baby books ? You actually like ultrasounds ? You have a preference of gender ? You bought the baby stuff so soon ? You are planning to be a working mom ? aww.. the list is endless.. Why don't we display some kind of solidarity here ? I mean we all go thru our own set of challenges, why then don't we stop judging other women and just be supportive ?

7. The ha ha ones - You know these are the ones who always leave ha ha messages for you on chats/ facebook etc.. Haha you better shop while u can, soon you will not be able to budge from that room ! Haha you miss sleep now, wait till the max you can sleep at a stretch is 45 mins :P Haha, you sucker you, think that baby of yours is gonna be nice and quiet and sleep thru the nite, it will wreak havoc in your life and u will just feel like killing yourself ! (ok, no one actually said the last one, but some of them sort of hinted it :p). But I will give them some credit because in their own ways, they acknowledge that they didnt have it so easy as well :)

But more importantly, why don't we share the scary things and talk about the gross stuff, the depressing stuff, the infuriating stuff, the one from the blue stuff ? The ones that really really prepares us for whats to come ahead ...

Missed Happy Budday only !

2009-11-25T21:27:00.000-08:00

I just realized that the 5 year mark for this blog came and went without me having an inkling of the same ! Sheesh, how could I have let that happen, shame only !!

Started this blog July of 2004 and look how far we have come baby :) I may not be as regular as I would like to be, but still it gives me a warm an cuddly feeling that I have this to vent when I have nothing else :))

It has been a pleasure and I am extremely grateful for the few who actually follow this (that goes for the 3 of you :p). Please do continue to pour in your encouragements and who knows, with my impending holidays, ok damn baby break, I may just get back to regularity with an added fury :)

Happy belated Budday dear bloggie :))

Introspection time ..

2009-11-25T21:21:00.000-08:00

The lingering worry now a days in my head is about what kind of parents would we be. And as all worries in my head go, they start with the germ of an idea and extrapolate themselves into an all consuming frenzy.
Both hubs an me like to watch tv, ok let me rephrase that, we both love to vegetate in front of the tv. I have often caught him sit in front of the tv with eyes glazing over and him not really watching anything ! But thats his way of relaxing after a long days work. And the number of times, i sit in front of the TV but do my own thing (like surfing or chatting) is beyond counting. I guess we both like the idea of the TV being on. And when we do actually watch it, I find that we have this immense capacity to actually watch any rubbish. I think TV channels are thriving coz of people with very low expectations like us :) TMZ, showbiz tonight, American choppers, crappy sitcoms, anything at all !!

How are we going to discipline a kid when we have such low concepts of TV watching ourselves not to mention insane addiction to it ? Worst of all, how the hell are we gonna stop ourselves from watching all of our usual nonsense to avoid undue influence on the kid.. I mean i know I have a dedicated nursery and all, but I seriously doubt if Tingu's gonna entertain our deluded ideas of "yeah, the baby will play in the baby;s room, where else !"

It scares me to no extent.. I like to live my lofty notions that I have an idea about how I want my kid to grow up. Well.. ummm.. the notion is fine but I think i will soon have the face the realization that I don't quite know how I will get that to happen.

We are both from simple middle class families with very similar upbringing. We have had to struggle in our own ways and things that were out of reach of our parents were simply forgone with no questions asked. Our grown up lives are different now, and with the kind of life style/ careers/ education, I think we have transcended to a different socio economic demography different from our parents. Now we spend without any questions asked. And since we can, we rarely would like to forgo anything at all. So, we spend with added zeal !

The frugality of a middle class existence may have been drudgy at that point, but I think they had a good part in life lessons learnt. How the hell do we teach similar things to the kid when we ourselves do not like to compromise anymore ! Impulsive splurging on holidays taken at the drop of the hat or new car accessories have become a norm and we brush it away saying we live only once, why not !
How are we going to teach a kid value of money and that things will not come by when we want it ? Or even worse, that you dont always get what you want..(when each day in our live is exactly the opposite, the pursuit of getting exactly what we want!)

How do you teach the value of disappointments, trials and failures when your generation itself is not very adept at dealing with it ? I hate disappointments, I do.. I have always done that since childhood. I take it to extremes where I dont venture into things that i am either not confident about or know that I am not good at ranging from sports to new initiatives. I just dont like to fail. So, I would rather just stick to things that I am good at.

What kind of a teaching is that to a kid ?

How do you teach the value of money and saving when you yourself don't quite practice that ? :) And this is funny especially because my mom has been repeating this sentence like a parrot for the last 10 years ever since I started working ! I dont think most of people in my age bracket really save up money before buying something or plan for it beforehand. We first buy and then we plan to accommodate that cost in our lives.. If we don't have ready cash, we do overdrafts, credit cards, EMI's... there are many ways to do it :))

They say that you usually know whats the right thing to do when u have a kid.. i doubt the very concept of it, but for the sake of my sanity, I really hope thats true..

sad sad news !

2009-11-23T21:44:00.000-08:00

Just heard, another one (second in the last 1 yr) of my close school friend's going thru a nasty separation and an impending divorce..
I am really and truly sorry to hear that. Somehow when i hear about such things, my heart reaches out to them even though i have not really kept a lot in touch with them ! Of course certain friendships especially from so long ago also fade with time and duly so. But still when I hear about their lives, makes me regret not keeping in touch.. (which is stupid coz its not like that wud have changed anything !)
Incidently, both these girls were good girls who promptly got married soon after college to the grooms of their parents choice. Makes me really wonder if parents really know the best for their children. I know its a very loaded and biased statement, but I can't help but think otherwise. What constitutes a good match or a good family has no bearing to the actual life that their daughter will have to eventually lead later on.
In both these cases, the guys came from so called 'Good' families, just that their upbringing seriously lacked any sense of civility, common sense and respect for women !

And worse of all, I find it so hard to digest the fact that both of my friends decided to stick around and bear it for the longest of times (5 years and 7 years respectively!). What makes women do that ?
We all grew up together and I have known them to a decent degree ever since we were girls with pigtails. Back then, would I have imagined that the same girls , (both of them post graduates with very good careers for themselves mind you!) would have settled for any less ? I really don't think so. Then what changed ?
I am sure its complicated and not necessarily all black and white, especially given all the parental pressure and the crappy indian society. But still, what gives ? Is it the eternal hope that things will become normal ? Or that you don't want to call quits too soon.
Not that I am judging any of them, I am very happy that they decided to take control now and are doing so with amazing grace.. Its just a scary notion I guess that you think you know people but really dont and that for every 2 who have the guts to walk out, there are 10 out there who don't !

Not bad

2009-11-22T20:33:00.001-08:00

A small book, priced at Rs 95/ - and after a long time made me read the entire book at one single stretch.
2 States - the story of my marriage by Chetan Bhagat.

I think the boy has finally kinda redeemed himself, at least as far as I am concerned. His writing is simple and more bloggy than literary. But of course that you already know.

I think what makes this one work, just like five point someone, is that this again is semi autobiographical. He really can belt it out when it is fiction around situations in his life or a page out of it. He seems much more comfortable and confident spinning a yarn when he has lived the peripheral premises. Much more than the other 2 really crappy ones (night @ a call center and 3 mistakes), which apart frm non interesting storylines also makes it very obvious that the author has done only second hand research on subjects..

Now, this one was witty and interesting and has its chetan bhagat moments but all in all worthwhile for a weekend read for sure :)

Now that hes' done his IIT days and his wedding conquest, maybe its time for him to write next about his IIMA days and be done with his autobiographical trilogy :)

Drooling over !

2009-11-12T20:43:00.000-08:00

http://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/518483-REG/Sigma_582_306_18_50mm_f_2_8_EX_DC.html

This is one fine piece of lens ! So what if it costs almost as much as my dslr cam body costs.. Dang if I don't convince hubby to lemme buy it !

Me thinks, considering how many women now a days are asking for push presents (even the ones who dont really push :P), ranging from solitaires to cars, this is much less expensive rt !

Now if only R would see this logic :)

what would i do without certain friends ?

2009-11-08T21:19:00.001-08:00

Seriously !? I wonder.. And mine have a way to being such indispensible part of my life that I can't explain it.. There are not many left tho', I hafta say. But the ones that are there now are ones for life and I know that because of incidents such as one yesterday.
I have a way of being or at least proclaiming to be, very self sufficient when it comes to my emotional sanity now a days. I don't know if thats coz am in my 30;s now and we are supposed to be wiser and more accountable now.. But there are times when i take on too much on myself and don't bother reaching out even when maybe I should..

A snagging situation at home was making me miserable and I didn't even realize how much.. it came up in a late night conversation with a dear friend who incidently is stuck in gurgaon on work and is equally lonely :) Before i knew it we spoke for 2 hours and i realized how much my issue had been bugging me.. Made me feel good and feel stronger all over again.. In the end all he said was - "Dont worry about it now, its not required. When it comes down to it an needs to be sorted out I am sure you will" :)

What would i do without these guys ? :))

2009-10-12T23:59:00.000-07:00

I think there is a reason why I love movies like 'Love aaj kal' and 'Wake up Sid'. Both of them have the male protagonists as overgrown boys who err on their path to coming of age and love etc.. I think I can relate to that and the fact that the female protagonists in both the movies are really sane, grounded and practical women.. Whether its Meera of LAK who is so aware of whats happening with her and around her and she does not flinch to tell her new husband that the marriage was a mistake, or Aisha from WUS, who is sensitive and accomodating but does not hesitate to tell yummy Rahul Khanna that jazz (or him) -not her cup of tea :)

I like strong women characters in movies.. especially when there is so much trash out there, an average hindi movie is so dissociated from reality that it makes you cringe ! I also like the fact that we are very slowly moving away from larger than life characters and characters who do not make mistakes. Art if supposedly imitates life, should reflect that. We all make enough and more mistakes in our lives, big or small and I dont see why the characters in 60mm cannot.

The general indian public has a problem with that, I dont think they can relate to protagonists making mistakes or deviating from a so called happy path in life. Not do they understand. Which in my opinion is why so many critics and public in general came down harsh on WUS. I am sure if Sid had been thrown out on gritty mumbai streets with no food an clothes an had to sleep under the street lamp, wud have made a lot more people happier! For the want to see the character actually struggle and wake up :)
But why ? Why do you need that dark realism to understand his coming of age or growing up ? And who is to say that what he is depicted to be doing is so far fetched ? I fail to understand that.. Many a times even seasoned critics lose sight of the fact that movies are about specific character, their lives and their quirks. Why then do we pick on things that do not seem real to us just coz we cannot relate to it ?
With the multiplex movies (for the lack of a better word), hopefully we will see more new age directors who do not hesitate to tell fresh new stories.

Brilliant !

2009-10-12T00:12:00.000-07:00

Kicking !

2009-10-06T00:38:00.000-07:00

With all the facebooking an twittering eating up the general blog blips, i had told myself i am gonna post at least a few blips here for the sake of posterity !

So, in the spirit of just that.. the baby's finally started kicking ! Its almost like an episode straight out of x-files really ! :P
I was worried for a bit whether it was sheer laziness which was holding Rads jr. frm kicking around much.. anyhoo.. worries can be set aside now.. :)

ps: Listening to the 'Blue' soundtrack and me thinks me likes...

Ho Hum...

2009-09-23T23:44:00.000-07:00

I find myself longing to move back to US now a days.. I have no clue why. There has been this dormant lingering for about an year now which has become increasingly stronger now. My brain resists and tells me to come to my senses as I should not be even considering that for the next one year with a baby on the way and all the adventure that will follow soon afterwards..

But there is still a part of my heart that swings in the opp. direction. Maybe its the swirling hormones, dunno or the fact that I find myself looking at old pictures more often now a days and long for those lose times.. At the risk of digressing, I have to add that its been more than an year since we even took any pictures.. We used to do that so often before and thankx to that, i have a few lovely collages put up on my walls. But i notice that almost all of them were taken at least 2 yrs ago and none of them in India.. Is it the lack of time or inclination ? am clueless..

In the end I think, my brain will win out the debate and refrain from insane decisions.. But maybe soon.. who knows.. Till then, I am just gonna make myself happy by reminiscing about things that I miss abt life out there :) :

1. A good strong cup of black coffee (altho' it wud never stop at one cup... hmm...)
2. Driving that wud not piss off my better half.. (i find him more and more irritable on the roads now, even the smallest of things tick him off !)
3. Pitstop at Einstein Bros Bagels every time we wud set off on a drive over long weekends... Sun dried tomato bagel with jalapeno salsa shmear just rocks and there is no substitute for it !
4. The bliss of spending almost an entire day window shopping at the malls (of course u need good malls for that, I have had the fortune to live in cities where there were awesome malls)
5. Aveda !
6. Krispy Kremes !
7. The complete lack of any social obligations whatsoever.. Believe it or not, there are just too many of them in India..
8. Good working hours.. Altho my working hours are not that bad really, but in retrospect, I have had better :)
9. The options of activities that are available for anybody to do ! Let me rephrase that, the ease at which hobbies or interests can actually be followed.. I used to actually go for French and dancing classes in CA, but here even a small yoga session seems like such an overhead with traffic situations, unpredictable work timings etc..
10. Awesome wines !

ok.. I have realized this list can go on and on.. an i have a meeting coming up ! damn..

Revelation an a heartbreak

2009-09-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

I can actually fit into my first pair of maternity jeans !

ps: O god, in abt 6 months either gimme the metabolism of a horse or enuf money for lipo ! either will do !!

Blip

2009-08-25T06:06:00.000-07:00

A good man makes all the difference in the world.. It maybe the husband or the boss or both :)

ps: i am resigned to leaving twittery msgs on the blog but fret not, have told myself that i am gonna get back to writing somethin substantial soon enuf :P

Step 3

2009-08-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

* Mobile Upload

Step 2 :)

2009-08-12T21:24:00.000-07:00

* Mobile Upload

Step 1

2009-08-04T00:04:00.000-07:00

Love Aaj Kal

2009-07-20T03:39:00.000-07:00

Very bollywood but a nice album nonetheless. Pritham does deliver with some really nice compositions.. Yeh doorian and Ajj Din chadaya.. Both the songs are something that you can loop thru in your music player and leave it for the day :)

Mohit Chauhan brings back the magic of "Tum se hi", and "Doorian" is strangely reminiscent of the former. It seems like a song picturized on the love lorn protagonist but while Tum se hi was more positive, this one seems rather muse-ish.. The lyrics are nice tho' I must say.

Rahat Fateh Ali khan as always brings a certain something to all the sings he sings. There is something powerful and earthy in all of his songs (i unlike many others do not wish for him to sing very many songs. I am more than happy with him singing 2 songs per year if each one of them is so memorable.. Keep at it.. !)
The rest of the album is more commercial, albeit nice.. I am sure Chor Bazari and Twist will stay on the charts for a while, but will also fizzle soon like Mauja hi Mauja..

Songs in my loop for today - Aaj din and Doorian.

:)

Blip

2009-06-29T02:34:00.000-07:00

The last 2 months have gone by in a haze... delight, fright, frustration all rolled into one..
Yippee for exciting times ahead !

Scratching my head and wondering

2009-06-01T03:37:00.000-07:00

Whether the so called rock stars or music legends who played cupids in our lives have a great love life themselves ..?

Would be interesting to know isn't it ? I am sure everybody has had that special song that someone has played or sung for you which totally tipped the scales for him :))

Here are some on my list and I am gonna spend this good afternoon finding out whether they had a good love life considering the amazing songs that they wrote/sang !!

1. Everybody loves somebody - Dean Martin
2. Anne's Song - John Denver
3. Bed of Roses - Bon Jovi.
4. Two steps behind you - Def Leppard
5. Have I told you lately - Van Morrisons version not Rod Stewart

Blip

2009-05-22T03:28:00.001-07:00

I think I finally know what the problem is.. Too much conditioner !

Patience

2009-05-13T11:40:00.000-07:00

is a virtue that I clearly lack !! hmmppfff !

Pit stop - Munich

2009-04-29T06:12:00.001-07:00

Glimpses of Copenhagen

2009-04-29T05:54:00.000-07:00

An evening in oslo

2009-04-23T00:55:00.001-07:00

Oslo's been pretty boring for the last 2 days.. I had expected springtime to be different somehow, tulips, other flowers blooming all around. Unfortunately trees are still balding and most landscape is still dry and brown. But looks like this itself is like yippeee springtime for the Norwegians :) I guess after about 6 ft of snow during winter, anything is welcome :)

Had been to the city center yesterday on a desperate attempt to find a salon for some urgent needs (ahem.. we women are quite high maintenance unfortunately!). So what I did realize is that Oslo lacks enough beauty salons ! I am not kidding. They are sparse by nature and all running full even at 8 PM in the night ! Any smart entrepreneur should just open a chain of salons here and it will totally flourish ...

After a lot of searching, I finally found a nice one which graciously agreed to take a walk-in.. This girl who worked on me was super sweet and really very nice.. I have always felt that Norwegians and Swedish women have the best skins.. pure alabaster n cream.. So i was interested in the facials they had to offer.. As inviting the services were, the price list was equally shocking.. I guess seeing the expression of shock on my face after seeing the service catalogue, the sweet girl actually offered me a free facial !! I mean, in which country does that happen ?? She just said, since you havent been able to spend much time in Oslo to see around, I can at least do this for you .. I mean, I was totally speechless.. Believe me, things like these do not happen to me.. Now my hubby is quite the opposite.. Things happen to him all the time.. But me.. na na.. I am the kind who has even paid for extra 2 KG baggage, while he has gotten away with a whole extra suitcase and a smile ! Well, theres more, he's even won ipods at supermarkets!!

So, imagine my surprise when someone actually offers something like this.. So, yours truly has had a really nice evening in Oslo, thanks to the sweet girl at Magic in Oslo City mall :)

Heading to Copenhagen tomm.. toodles !

ps: Helsinki was really boring...

Glimpses of Sweden

2009-04-20T07:51:00.000-07:00

Alo from Sweden

2009-04-17T03:53:00.000-07:00

I am currently on a whirlwind trip to the nordics and western EU. Just got done with the Stockholm part of the trip. Hafta say its a lovely place.. Thankfully the Radisson I was staying at was in the city so didnt hafta sweat it out ..

Will post pics soon...

WTF

2009-04-17T03:51:00.000-07:00

Why do people naturally assume that I am anti kids ? I mean WTF ! Just coz I have successfully closed the chapter on my 20's and do not have a kiddo yet, makes me anti kids ?? Jeez !

People, dunno about the rest of the world, but I make my own choices in life..

Yippee

2009-03-16T01:55:00.000-07:00

Yes.. found and seeing Season five of GA.

Corny !

2009-01-22T23:49:00.000-08:00

Is it soo unreasonable that just the very scene of Derek and Meredith kissing on Greys Anatomy brightens up my day?! Really.. i am serious.. I can't explain it..

I am sooo hooked to that..Hafta hafta find season 5 !

I swear!

2009-01-22T05:49:00.001-08:00

This is the only bright spot of my otherwise shi**y day !

http://sayesha.blogspot.com/2008/12/khan-ference.html

quote or rather random find of the day

2009-01-22T05:43:00.000-08:00

A wise young woman once said-

"Contrary to popular belief, when friends have a fallout, whether they will attempt to patch things up depends not on what caused the fallout, but what they had before the fallout."

:)

Y !!!???

2009-01-22T05:22:00.000-08:00

Why do i have this stupid need to be appreciated all the time ? Just doesnt make sense !
I almost wanted to bite my tongue after i asked someone a question from a distant past about what my memory means to him.

What the f*** ?

Post lunch quote

2009-01-20T02:16:00.001-08:00

Delhi 6 is such a mind blowing album ! I can't possibly express my joy on hearing an album from Rahman out of which I have liked most of the songs (at least in the recent past).
I mean, really outstanding album !!!

ps: The songs are yet to sink in, although they have been on repeat mode since 10 this morning. I will post on the individual songs soon. For now, its sheer bliss... Me, the album and my noise canceling earplugs ! :)

Stuck in my head !

2009-01-19T22:22:00.000-08:00

Tere Naina .mp3

Such a lovely song from an otherwise insipid album. Shankar and Shreya deliver the goods :)

Lunch time debate..

2009-01-13T03:53:00.000-08:00

A heated debate on "Slumdog Millionaire" during lunch time with colleagues ! A movie debate after a long time, but digressed somewhere in the midst with too many emotional biases that people seem to have.

Let me start by saying I completely loved the movie and the fact that Vikas Swaroop's 'Q & A' was chosen to be made into the movie by Danny Boyle. I was watching the movie with sheer amazement that a non Indian could have made a movie that had such an Indian heart!
It is probably easy to capture people and places but to get the Indian emotions and sensibility right is by far the toughest nut to crack. And Boyle manages to do just that !

There are scenes and aspects of the movie which are gruesome and even unpalatable, times where i almost closed my eyes just to fade out certain scenes. I guess like the modern, urban India, we would rather live in denial, in the comforts of our middle class existence. Mumbai is powerful, mumbai is all accepting, mumbai is friendly and lovely. But there is an ugly side to it. It has one of the largest slum settlement in the world. The underworld and its influence is spread far and wide. And it has been in the past, been the hotbed for all communal and political atrocities!
That said, the movie is not just about that, it is a love story at the core. And it is a beautiful logic defying love story to be told. The performances are top notch and the actors fit the role to the T (except for a teensy rant that I have about the protagonist being too urban to play Jamal, he has a brit twang :P)

2 major grouses my colleagues seem to have is that a) It is just not done to keep showcasing the poor India b) Why should a non Indian make a movie about the grimy details of our cities/county.

I guess I kinda agree with the first point coz whenever you see any shows in Discovery or Travel & Living, its a very poor representation of our country. Too many beggars and too many cows ! I mean, there are other aspects to this lovely country of ours and I am still wondering why any travel or discovery show would not show that ! Call it the Indian image or whatever, but it is only limited to the Poor India in slums and streets or the Travelers India which is either full of palaces and spas but with an ample splatter of beggars as well :)
I guess the normal/ urban India is not interesting enough for the Discovery/ Travel channels :)

The second opinion is totally a skewed one and believe me I debated with that guy for like half an hour trying to understand his misplaced patriotism ! I mean why would take any movie so personally? And isn't it a big deal in itself that an Indian novel by an Indian author set in India was chosen by Fox searchlight to be made into a movie. That itself I would think is rocking! And its a bloody good adaptation of the book.

Do watch the movie, even if you are a little faint hearted coz it is a feel good movie at the end of the day. A triumph of spirits and love an all that blah blah :)

ps: Also, read 'Six Suspects' by Vikas Swaroop if you can manage to get it. Very simply written but amazing characters in that as well.

pps: Happy New Year !!!

Pliss to rewind...

2008-12-24T02:39:00.000-08:00

New yr recap

1. The year was full of nonsensical movies! (an unbelievably dry year for Hollywood and an almost unbearable spat of moronic bollywood movies)
2. Akshay Kumar kinda rocked it!
3. Moving to your new house is exhilarating :)
4. Moving to a new company after spending your till date professional life in one single company can be really daunting... but then again, if you can deal with morons in one place, you can deal with them anywhere :))
5. T'was a year of quite a lot of new traditions (which i hope to keep up in the coming years!) - festivals at home, Friday binges at work, Saturday evenings at a dear friends place, annual vacations with friends, monsoon in goa, marathon TV series and some more :)
6. One brilliant year with respect to commute to work. It totally rocks to have a driver and my skin has never felt better !
7. An year of realizing what a boon it is to have mum nearby (or even staying with you for a while).
8. Ha, it was also an year of welcoming new arrivals to my friends' lives (two weddings and two babies :) )
9. I totally suck at organizing surprise parties !!
10. Political tensions in Bangkok 2 hours after I land, and the tension winds up a day after I am evacuated from there !

Thanks god for some Tv

2008-12-23T03:16:00.000-08:00

Star world has never before had a weeknight schedule that I felt was worthwhile. But now all of a sudden and for the first time ever they have 30 Rock and Scrubs back to back all weekdays !
I mean, how awesome is that ! :)

Thank god for some decent tv at the end of sh**ty days like these !

We tend to forget.

2008-11-30T11:47:00.001-08:00

As time goes by, things get jaded, excitements fade away, fun gives way to more mundane things. But the worst part is that we tend to forget.

I like airports, I know that sounds funny. No one usually likes airports. But I do like unfamiliar international airports (or even domestic ones in US for that matter).

They have a special place in my heart as I have traveled quite a bit on work and have learnt to survive all kinds of unfamiliar airports. But airports also are special because they have seen quite a bit of me when we were recently married but seeing each other once in a few weeks or even once in a couple of months.
They have seen me irritated on the account of a delayed flight or on the account of being out of breath and last person to check in.

But my favorite airports moments are the ones where I have been dazed and confused with new surroundings and then I see that familiar face. Or times in new cities when I walk out of the aiport searching and then I hear someone saying “Hey sweetheart” from the back. J. A face that always tells me that everything will be all right. I love those moments coz those are the fleeting minutes of sheer happiness. It is difficult to describe it.

Today in a totally unfamiliar airport in Hong Kong (on the way back from Bangkok), I had a similar feeling of being a little lost. Havent had that in a while. I found myself looking for something, that familiar face. That is when the feeling hit me. A quick rewind of airport meetings, a mental recap if you will. And I realized how I had forgotten about it. Just the thought of moments long ago brought me a lot of comfort. I wonder how I had forgotten about these things..

I find us very busy in our lives, just about managing to scrape time off and have some fun. But its not the same. I think we both know it. But I think as long as we don’t forget… As long as we can still remember the good feeling and the warm glow of happy moments gone by, we can still have them..

Ok

2008-10-24T01:55:00.000-07:00

I have finally decided that I am quite useless when it comes to thinking of things to write! It used to be effortless before, but dunno either i have absolutely nothing going on in my life or I have a major writing block!
So, in an effort to keep the blog alive, here is what I am planning to do...I will blog at least once a week with just updates ! :)
So, update for um.. the last 6 months I guess - I got a cool sectional couch !!! Andd... (drumm roll)... its RED !!!!

But. its just too heavenly.. need to post pics :))

~toodles

Should u keep em

2008-10-07T01:51:00.000-07:00

Trivial relationships..Ones that were meaningful at some point but with time- lose their essence, people grow apart, and even a small conversation becomes laborious. You want to talk, its not like you dont want to. But you want to talk because.. You think you should...it used to be easy..you want to for the sake of old times..you may want to re invent old times..heck, you may just want to know more about the person and the goin ons in their ives...whatever the reason i guess we all do that..hold on to things and people...off late i feel the pinch of it.. And its not because of what i do but in terms of why i do it...
why is it annoying for me when i chose to hang on to trivial relationships and then feel the sheer futility of it. Isnt it better to just acknowledge that and move on and just change the definitions to acquaintances or casual friendships. I think it is....

blip

2008-07-01T04:03:00.000-07:00

Are my thoughts getting fewer and fewer or is my brain getting smaller an smaller ??

ps: rhetorical question, do not attempt to answer !

Ha !

2008-06-02T22:53:00.000-07:00

Damn damn damn damn !!

2008-05-30T02:38:00.000-07:00

The mother of all movies (ok ahem, chick flicks) is releasing next week. I am not sure if I should jump up in joy as I really did miss the series when it ended, or should I lament at this pitiable state of life that I have currently with absolutely no gal pals !!

There is not a single person around whom I want to watch this movie with, the only person that I can think of is like far far away in sin city ! :)
I still remember the DVD marathon that we did with wine an episode after episode on a laptop :) (We had simple needs in life then :P)

Miss you nish!

Post-It s to myself..

2008-05-23T03:42:00.001-07:00

On my to-do list

Movies:

Baby Mama
Sex and the city
Indiana Jones 4
Vicky Christina Barcelona

Books:

Hold Tight by Harlan Coben

Backlog from the Stephanie Plum series-
Sharp Twelve
For that matter
Lean Mean 13 & Fearless 14
Yes have become addicted to this chick flick :))

I feel bad about my neck

Places to go:

Maldives

Things to make:

Spicy Hummus

Thank God

2008-05-16T03:44:00.000-07:00

for this !!! Mr. Mash you have enriched and simplified my life at the same time :)

Aum.....

2008-05-16T02:09:00.001-07:00

There is such a marked difference between life back in the US and here in India that it boggles my mind, more I think about it. Somehow, there is so much of time that you get in the states that it almost taunts you into doing something. Whether its something for yourself, something with others or something akin to a hobby that you never thought you will acquire.

Stark different is life here, where in the middle of all the rush and daily dose of madness, any bit of time that you get here- almost begs you not to do anything !

Tashan- and the search for decent cinema continues...

2008-05-08T22:57:00.000-07:00

It should be seen to be believed and also because it is not often that you get to see movies that defy logic, reasoning, common sense or stereotypical cinema for that matter. Now I am not saying whether thats a good thing or bad :)

For about an house into the movie, I was still confused about whether I liked this or not. A part of me was looking at the finer details (which I am not sure are either incidental or extremely shrewd!) and liking it. There was a pinch of this and a dash of that, all good stuff (spin offs from Don, Deewar, Kala Pathar etc etc.) The starting scene itself was brilliant according to me.. The whole tribute to noir cinema was not lost on me as well. But all that again was limited to about 45 mins into the movie and thats it..

I am guessing somewhere after the intial spark of brilliance the director thought to himself, Kareena rocked in the bikini, Saif looks uber cool and Akshay for the last couple of years has only delivered hits no matter what role he plays- So guess I dont need to think or do anything anymore. Let me not even bother about things like script, story, screenplay or simply common sense :p

The last one hour was unbearable to say the least. There was mush when you are really not in a position to digest it, there was Anil Kapoor with a shaven chest which is good enuf to make anyone puke and there was Saif reduced to a miserable side kick. Terrible terrible terrible..

Sigh.. if only someone had the sense to tell the director to chop the movie after an hour into it or just continue the momentum he had created in the first couple of scenes, it could have been a really sharp movie.. I guess this is what happens when you tend to mix your sensibilities of modern sharp cinema with masala movie cliches! What you end up with is 'Tashan' ! All spice, no substance..

:) ( I am tired of thinking up titles :p)

2008-04-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

"The older you get, you start realising what a fool you had been all these years to actually consider birthdays "happy" occasions. What is there to be happy about anyway? With each passing year, you get farther from people and farther from yourself, you discover more flaws, more disappointments, more regrets, more judgement, more cynicism, more things (and people) that annoy you, and more things that don't matter. I know there's supposed to be a textbook list of GTAGO (Good Things About Growing Older) but frankly speaking, at this point in time, it seems like a rather bullshitty list"

My sentiments exactly, verbalized by the dear birthday gal

ahem

2008-04-15T01:35:00.001-07:00

Its so weird that I find myself being very - I me myself, now a days :))

*

2008-04-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

What if the only person you needed to talk to is the one person you can't talk to..

Perfection

2008-04-02T23:22:00.000-07:00

Perfectly described here :)

People people!

2008-03-18T02:52:00.000-07:00

Are we increasingly becoming self indulgent or are we thriving in low tolerance towards just about anything??

I am finding more and more people becoming so intolerant now a days, I am not sure if its just the stress of modern day life now a days or whether attitudes are changing big time.

Unfortunately for us, the interiors work in our apartment took 2 months longer than what it should have and believe me everybody around has been constantly complaining (everybody except surprisingly my very next door neighbour!) . Whether its neighbours downstairs complaining about people working in the morning or slightly later in the evening. Whether its about people working over the weekend or people working in the basement!!

I fail to understand what they seem to think? Do they think that its ok for us to stick to their schedules to finish our civil and carpentary work at the cost of our lives being effected due to the work?? Or are they so deluded that they actually think we ought not to disturb their freaking peace by hammering away. I mean, I do understand the fact that constant work is annoying especially one thats prolonged, but what the heck is complaining going to achieve?? Instead of what can be achieved in 2 weeks will only take another 4 weeks at the rate at which we were forced to carry on. But i doubt if such logical reasonings even occur to some morons.. I wonder if they even pause to think how much of commotion they themselves must have caused when they were getting any work done is their homes, but I guess all that is soo long ago that they think that was finee...

Anyhoo, coming back to my point, this huge corporate office next to our community is building its second campus right next to us. I am sure they have their own deadlines and all that, coz of which work is happening in shifts round the clock. The association of my community is hell bent of sending complaint mail one after the other to tell them to stop working in the night (or if they just could, ask them to stop working all construction work!). It started with reasons like - too much of dust, too much of screaming from the workers, too many mosquitos because of the water stagnant in the construction site, too much of machinery noise disturbing children who have exams (what the???) and of course most importantly people losing sleep..

My bedroom is actually facing the construction site and believe me I get the noise first hand but honestly its not something so ground shattering that I can't live with.

There are people from far off blocks who seem to be so affected that they want to talk to the corporate managers to put an end to this issue.

Now, i really dont understand this. Any health hazard- yes, any pollution hazard- yes, any security hazard- yes.. But seriously, construction activity to be toned down just coz you cant sleep peacefully since the last 6 months ?? Come one, people should have gotten so used to it now that it shouldn't even be effecting anybody..

I actually sent an email to this yahoo group (association) today asking them to consider our tolerance levels. Even if we were staying in an independent house and if our neighbour was constructing his house, what would you do ?? Ask him to go slow ? ask him to stop working in the nights or weekends ?? Or ask him to put a muffler on all their machineries ??

What the hell is wrong with world today??

Unfamiliar experiences.

2008-03-12T00:17:00.001-07:00

No matter how much you think things will be manageable and of course you will get used to it, the first steps are always difficult. I guess the very reason why we even think - Oh how difficult can that be, is either because you haven't been in that situation ever before or you have been in the similiar situation so many zillion years ago that you don't even remember how hard it was in the first place.

I think I am going thru a multitude of such feelings, a certain separation anxiety about leaving a work place I have literally called a second home for the last 8 and a half years, a sense of confusion and chaos regarding a new work place- which not only is chaotic in nature/culture but its also breeds a culture of extreme self sustenance.

Its probably not as bad as I imagine it to be, So I guess its the fatalist/pessimist in me making rash impressions as usual :). I really need to learn to adapt better, I have never been good with any kind of change in life, whether it was routine, pattern or even people around me. I always tend to cling on...

Anyhoo, on a slightly brighter note, my new apartment is finally ready for occupation !! Yippeee.. After 5 hard months of persuations and negotiations, its finally in a livable and hospitable state. Of course, there is still a long way to go before it looks lived in or for that matter before I unpack too :p (I had bloody 10 suitcases and 10 cartons of stuff!!). Till then getting used to yet another un familiar experience of living in my 'OWN' house. Its definitely a high to see each and every bit of square footage bought by you and with things bought by you. Its definitely not a feeling I am used to , but its definitely something I can get used to :))

Will be posting snaps soon :))

Post lunch read

2008-01-15T01:50:00.000-08:00

This is beyond funny!! Its ... its...

Om....

2008-01-14T01:10:00.000-08:00

Its been a week of introspection, and of course a workshop. I went into it thinking - Oh one of those soft skills workshop which I dont' need but my boss insists that I go for some workshop coz its in my objectives!
But at the end of 2 days, I admit I did come back with a small but significant take back. It reinforced my belief about how life is nothing but a long winding road of choices. Choices that we see, choices we don't, choices we choose to make, choices we don't even realize that we are making and above all choices that really tell a lot about the kind of person that you are.

Consider a beggar at the traffic signal, you reaction and subsequent action not only tells you about the kind of values/belief system you have, but also tells you about the conditioning you have , which makes you choose an action that follows.

I think more than anything, I have probably become a lot more self aware in terms of looking at even the smallest of things that I do, because they involve these choices and decisions that I am talking about. There is a pattern in it, definitely a significant pattern, which tells me more about myself. Sometimes things that I don't like and probably don't like to hear.

To cite some examples, I realize that I am not good at receiving a direct compliment (not the, "ah that bag is really nice or those earrings look nice on you" types! But more like, "wow you are quite creative" types.. I really find myself at loss when it comes to reacting at a qualitative feedback. More often than not, I find myself not graciously accepting it but side stepping it altogether and probably even be-little it ,like - "Oh that was nothing at all, I am sure you can do the same thing"!

When I dig deeper I can definitely see how when we were kids we were not really given direct qualitative feedbacks like that, not to say that my family did not believe in appreciation or that I had zero talent (:p) but just that for some reason they probably thought appreciation should not be given directly coz it may cause some sense of arrogance in the kid. So, even now my mum would say to other people - "Oh you ahould take Rads along for shopping, she is really good at picking nice things out." But to date she will never say that to me! So, you see its difficult for me to react to appreaciation like that coz I am just not used to it .

I think its good to realize these things because it makes you a lot more aware of yourself and even gives you that window of oppurtunity to maybe do something different if you wish to.

At the same time, I realize the importance of being able to see choices along the way. Whether its picking up that shoe just because its on sale or whether its deciding to go out for drinks with someone or a group that you don't know so well. At the risk of sounding preachy, there are options and choices for us at any given point in time. Even at times when we really can't see beyond something. Even when something looks really obvious. And maybe even when you don't think you need a choice or that is there is a conscious decision to be taken.

Its a bright new day!

2008-01-09T02:19:00.000-08:00

Who knew i would actually send out that resignation letter thats been lying in my drafts folder for the last 2 years- today!

So.... yes.. its official.. Bye bye Sunflower company :)

Pissed!

2007-12-03T22:59:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am officially pissed now! This is the second time this has happened.

I usually catch up on new authors (not really newbie authors but new in the context of my static tastes) whenever I travel. Airports are the best places to pick up authors (that sounded much better in my head :P) you haven't tried before and who you will find quite dissuaded to try if you are at Borders or Landmark, simply coz they have too many books there and filtering is a frustrating process!
Anyways, so I religiously try new authors whenever I travel, light weight enough for airline or hotel reading. Sometimes I do well and find authors who are brilliant and sometimes, well.. just your average read and leave behind types....

About 2 years ago, I hit gold with this author named Harlan Coben. He writes what I can now say, is my favourite type of fiction. The speedy, racy thrillers that are just sooo addictive. So, i managed to pick up a few while I was travelling and told myself when I go back, I am gonna pick up the entire collection from Blossom's (the go-to book store in bangalore!)

So, imagine my irritation when I got back and found that apparently hes become the novelist of the season and all the books are sold out!! I mean why! Why did everybody have to get fascinated by him the same time I did :P

Anyways, it took me a good year and a half to collect all of his books where as it would normally take me about 6 months to go thru what about - 10 odd books written by him so far.. !

This time around I decided to try the duo novelist team- Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child (yes, I know a lot of you may hum and say what! You read this like now?? Haven't you seen Relic? ). But yes. I decided to try them out only like now! And I loved it. A couple of them are really scary too (if you dont believe me, try reading 'Still life with Crows' all alone in a hotel room! Goosebumps! )
But they are those racy thrillers that just grab you by the gut and you can't put them down!

So, again decided to grab all possible copies from Blossoms after I head back and guess what!! They are all sold out.. Yes, extremely coincidental and vexing you may say but thats not all..

I go to Landmark which is like the biggest bookshop chain ever and guess what- they had just 1 copy of exactly 1 book of theirs, rest- sold out! Well.. I did pick that up in case you are wondering :)

Anyhoo.. to fast forward to today morning when I am very confident I can find the books online (Fabmall/ Indiaplaza). Book search and 10 mins later guess what - ALL sold out!!

I am soooo pissed I tell you!

Aaja Nachle?

2007-12-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

After much anticipation and speculations, aaja nachle came to the theatres last friday. Since mum was quite (in a not so subtle way) excited about it, decided to take her for the so called 'first day first show'.
I think I speak for the rest of the junta in the theatre when I say that, it was quite an enjoyable movie. Small town, extremely predictable but also full of small town, daily life moments which you don't see that often with these big production houses. Somehow the essense of the movie is lost in all that gloss and glitz. But this one somehow manages to capture that and that too in a nice un-complicated manner.

Simple story, lots of cliches and you know whats going to happen. But the director knows that, all he wants you to do is enjoy the ride and forget about the destination. And it was an enjoyable ride, awesome cinematography, very earthy songs and Madhuri is back with a bang with her typical jhatkas!
The best thing about the movie is really no glorified hero heroines. There is supposedly the central character of Dia who kinda holds the movie together but the characterization is classy in the sense that she is not shown to be this uber-woman. Her character is not faultless as typical hindi heroines go. The director has taken the liberty to not harp on her personal life, keep it simple- which pays off because otherwise the movie would have been too distracting.

Its nice to see no issues being made of subjects like inter racial realationships, divorces, single parenting and last but not the least patriotism. Its a refreshing change to see these things being a non-issue in the movie. Dia is not ashamed of her past, she is not apologetic of her impulsive dash to matrimony or the rapid decline of the same. Dia is not the wimpy single mum who is struggling, for anything ! Dia is not the super patriotic types who come back to the country for a a reason and then decide to chuck her entire life elsewhere to supposedly 'give back to the homeland' ! Dia is a character not full of at least these cliches, which I thought was a very smart move by the director. Otherwise god knows, how this one could have turned out to be.

The rest of the characters are just that, characters in a story. Strong characters who lend a definitive flavour to this small predictable tale of song, dance and theatrics. An unusual cast of misfits who come together for a purpose.

There are actors who had so much of potential but seem terribly wasted but I think thats because of the simple reason that we have come to expect so much from them. The very reason they are so understated is because their characters in the tale are understated and thats the whole beauty of it. When you have accomplished actors who can play those 2 bit roles and still leave the audience wanting more, they have done their jobs :)

Vinay and Ranvir have become the standard small budget fixtures but they do add something to a scene everytime they are in it. Even though, you really wish poor Ranvir's character had been given a chance to do some tidly bit more. But he is good as a small town cafe owner who just blends into the background but his eyes light up everytime he sees Dia.

Raghubir yadav is so cute! He is definitely one of those characters you will not recall when you exit the theatre but that just shows what a seasoned actor he is. I really have special regards for all these TV actors or NSD actors from hey days. They were really good at what they did, you just dont find such character actors now a days!

Madhuri, ah.. where do I even begin. From the time the promos have been on air, I have not been able to take my eyes off. Be it at home or at this place we go for lunch to, every single time that they have shown that promo, I have stopped in my tracks to look.
She is so awesome! 43 and she still rocks when it comes to bollywood dancing! There is simply no comptetition, when it comes to any latkas and jhatkas.

I confess, I have been a major fan of her dance numbers ever since I was a kid, whether it was ek do teen, choli ke peeche, didi tera devar or channe ke khet mein!! I admit today, that I have been one of the few (or more) teen kids who latch their bedroom doors and dance to all numbers mentioned above. And when I say dance, I mean really mimic just about every jhatka of hers to perfection.... Yes.. I was one of them and I am not ashamed to admit it :))

And believe me, since the time I have seen the promos of the title track, my brain is sub-consciously trying to memorize the damn steps !!!

Anyhoo, aside from my dancing aspirations, I really think anybody who's grown up with a good pinch of bollywood or has been a closet fan of Mads, should go and enjoy this movie..

Its about singing and dancing with all abandon, to your heart's content- Aaja Nachle !

Blip

2007-11-16T01:34:00.000-08:00

All hotels smell alike...Its only the ones with cleaner sheets that matter...

London, london london..

2007-10-06T22:37:00.000-07:00

Its pretentious, expensive and realllly crowded but you can't help falling in love with London !
Charming, absolutely fascinating and takes you very swiftly between past and the present. The roads and the buildings tell a different story from what you see and the vibe that you get.

There was this lovely Blues bar that we went to the day before I left. Simply awesome, Smallest pub that I had ever seen and crowded as hell but no one was complaining. Once the music started, don't think anybody even noticed..

The most awesome part of london is the fact that there was more pubs in any street than possibly the streetlights :)) It was lovely to sit by the bench overlooking Thames.

The lovely sculptures and last but not the least the Mr. Squiggly :))

PS: Lots more snaps on my Flickr album, if you are on my list :)

Rant

2007-09-30T06:13:00.001-07:00

The bandwidth here continues to irritate to me no extent..

Notes from UK

2007-09-22T03:49:00.000-07:00

Its a pretty place no doubt about it. But I can think of quite a few other words to describe it as well. cursory mind you, but my impressions nonetheless.

Have taken a lot of pictures, too many some would say :)

Haha

2007-09-14T04:44:00.000-07:00

After like ages, a room full of my so called extended team (basically a whole division if you must) under one roof. And I look around me( all too surreptitiously mind you!), I see people I know only too well (of course D'uh), but wait.. Whats that my brain is trying to do? As i pass each one of the them in a cursory glance, my brain is telling me- i dont like him/her!, O her! , So dumb!, etc etc etch..
And that goes on till i reach my super boss and that exactly when my brains just about fizzling with How much I don't like him :)))

I think now I can officially declare that I have absolutely no social or personal interest in people I work with :P

Tired..

2007-09-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

Tired...

Thats how i feel more often than now now a days. Life is flying by and sometimes I have an out of body experience looking at how fast its zooming by. Days dont seem to make any sense anymore. Its only one weekend after the other.

There is really no time for anything at all and given all the time spent in damn commuting from one place to the other, there is no energy left as well. Makes me wonder if it was too hasty to head back so soon. If not anything, life was recognizable back then.
Now its just a blur.

I just wish things would slow down a bit so that:

I can spend more quality time with people
I can spend some quality time just by myself
I can get up in the morning without cringing at the fact that damn! another day

~tada and more from UK

Chak De !

2007-08-13T20:02:00.000-07:00

Finally here's a movie that can be called detached from the Mumbai glitz, Bollywood masala and the ritzy glamour. This movie, according to me, reminds you of the NSD and the Delhi school of drama, the same genre of acting and direction that gave us the likes of Fauji and Nukkad.

Even as early as 10 minutes from the time the movie starts, you are gripped. As soon as you see the girls arriving one by one for the national games registrations, you are falling hook, line and sinker.

There is just about everything in here for everybody (except for ones who want item numbers and nonsense masala). There is fair amount of patriotism thrown in, there is oodles of viva feminism thrown in, there is so much of the fun that we thought we would never see past our school days and of course there is ample hockey thrown in :)

The screenplay and editing is simply mindblowing, despite that fact that the script is so predictable. From the time you see the promos for the first time, you know what the movie is going to be about. A failed player, india as the underdog in the arena of world sports, an uncommon team of female players and of course the fact that in the end, you know who will emerge victorious.

But despite all the preconceived notions, the screenplay grips you from the beginning and you are enjoying yourself completely. I had taken my mum for the movie and believe me, I don't remember the last time I saw her enjoying a movie like this! My own mum was enjoying not just the movie but the game as portrayed on screen. For every damn goal, she was actually clapping :)))
Now, if thats not good cinema, I don't know what is.

Something that can make a movie bluff like me appreciate the sheer brilliance of the director, an anti-shah rukh hubby actually smiling thru out the movie and my 50 year old mum enjoy herself shamelessly !!

Its a movie simply about grit, determination and self belief. Its a movie about woman power (Yea, more power to us!) and team spirit. Its a movie that transcends languages barriers and class systems in our society.

So, as you can see, I completely enjoyed watching this one and to me this is definitely one of the best movies of the year.

The screenplay is so impressive, you have to give the credit to the writer Jaideep Sahni and the director Shimit Amin. In a movie where you have 20 odd characters, its so easy to lose your way and churn out half baked stories. There are so many multi starers which fall flat on its face because of the screenplays. But this one, with each characterization so perfect, takes the cake.

Each and every character is well though out, there is enough given for us to make out the character and not a single irrelevant, dwindling flashback (which is what usually happens!). I believe that in a story which has a lot of characters in the story, sometimes the focus is lost in telling the story of each and every person on screen. Which incidently is not really required because your story doesn't revolve around 15 odd autobiographies. But around the story in hand which is quite situational. Sometimes an applicable context maybe required to set the precedent for the incident depicted but long winding flashbacks are completely unwarranted.

There is decent amount of footage for just about everybody even the supporting cast of the movie like the female assistant for the coach and the cook :) Everybody has their 5 mins of glory and thats such a sweet thing.

I didn't really think Bollywood had in it the spirit and technical expertise to weave a really decent story around field sports. We know, live and breathe cricket so that comes easy. But even those movies don't always hit the mark such as Hattrick or Say Salaam India (although I thought the latter was good). Lagaan and Iqbal were probably the only 2 decent movies we have seen so far. Any other field sport seem quite a far fetched thought. But I hope this movie works for the sake of Field Hockey more than anything else. Its a movie that has really done justice to portraying a seemingly unknown and definitely less appreciated game like Hockey. On top of that put together a women's team to bring glory to the game and you have a winner :)

I really hope, this movie inspires more and more people to take interest in something apart from Cricket as far as sports go. I hope games and teams in India get more sponsorships and encouragement even if its because of a bollywood movie. If RDB can purportedly bring justice to the Jesicca Lal case, then why not this be the sweet beginning for Hockey as the re-instated national game.

Thailand !

2007-07-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

First impression of the country is a little awe inspiring, especially because of its new international airport. Its simply splendid. Absolutely comparable to any international airport anywhere in the world. Its huge, has just about everything to make arrival, departure or just transit a complete pleasure. All the while that I was at the airport (and I was at the airport for a while as Mr. Hubby assumed that it will take me hours and hours to complete the immigration process while it took me a whole 10 mins!), I kept wondering why there was so much disparity between the infrastructure we have in India and Thailand. All this speculation is quite cursory and after just seeing the airport for the first time, mind you.

In my head, the economy for any country is put simply the comparision of the local currency with indian re. So, from that skewed perspective, we are not that far behind. In fact for every 1 Thai B, we can match for 1.33 INR. So that in my head is almost equal. Considering that flattening analogy, I kept wondering why we cannot even come up with a single international airport in India which could even try to compare with the new International airport in Thailand (its called the Suvarnabhoomi airport)?? There was not a single rationalization that I could think of except that we are a country of corrupt or lazy individuals.

Anyhoo, after a bit of roaming around and checking out the book stores (Oh btw, a copy of US weekly or People magazine in Bangkok will cost you precious 350 bucks!!), hubby finally arrived. Our next flight to Koh Samui was about 4 hours away and I was itching to get outta the airport and maybe, just maybe go shopping! Alas, my precious ideas were soon crash landed as the tourism helpdesk prompty informed us that we simply did not have enough time to set out for shopping! Mmppffft

Wiled away some time at the airport before we checked in for our next flight. The aircraft to Samui should really give you an indication of the island itself! Its a bright aircraft with flowers and splatters of paint ! I guess its supposed to kick start your vacation mood even before you set foot on the island :) The flight was completely full of tourists and vacationers like us, I don't suppose there was anybody at all who was visiting samui for any mundane reasons..

The flight is really quite a short 75 mins flight, just right for a quick nap post lunch :) The island as you dip close to the landing is a treat for sore eyes. But I have to say, barring that half a day when we landed, the rest of our entire vacation was gloomy all thanks to the monsoon season. But the day we landed was glorious :)) Sunny and the water was as azure as possible. The airport at Samui does not look like any other airport you may have seen anywhere else! Samui is an ideallic vacation spot and the airpor proves it. It could easily be mistaken for a resort itself ! Complete with landscaped lawns along the runway and thatched huts which have the baggage claim areas, tourists center kiosks and even the restrooms ! All A class mini airport designed with International tourism in mind.

We had asked for an airport pick up and drop to our resort which happened promptly. Its such a pleasure to see tourism taken so seriously, I can't even begin to describe it. No wonder there is a lot of money flowing into their economy via tourism. They really know what a service industry is supposed to look like and function. Just about everything can be arranged and the service is impeccable.

The resort we booked for the next 4 days was 'Amari Palm Reef', an upscale 4 start resort on the beach. The welcome there was just awesome. There was personal attention from the time you set foot there. I mean, at every possible hotel or resort that I have been to, we feel the service when we step into the recepion desk. But here from the time our luggage landed on the ground, there was a lady who came to welcome us. Resort PR reps were not confined behind a desk to service you when needed. They were on their foot, each one attaching themselves to each party of guests to make sure that everything from the welcome drink, to the luggage to the check in was comfortable. They made us sit in a lobby area which was beautiful and she checked in for us. I mean, thats service. We didn't even have to lift a small finger to get us all set. Our check in was automatic, our luggage reached our rooms before we did. Hubby being the sneak that he is had called in advance and told them that it was an honeymoon vacation (he forgot to mention the teensy detail that it wasn't the first one technically :p). So, that lady infact told us that they were upgrading us to a junior suite absolutely complimentary !! What bliss!

The rooms were very spacious with flowers and thai welcome nic knacks everywhere :) Every room or suite is self contained with a dining area and a seating couch or sofa apart from the usual beds and entertainment units.

The beach was absolutely a delight, especially when the weather was so misleadingly beautiful. The sand is white and so powdery that its such a bliss to walk endlessly. The water is quite shallow and you can walk on and on into the sea before its gets even 5 ft deep! So, the good thing is you can frolick as much as you want seemingly far into the ocean although the water is not even waist deep for almost 100-200 meters..

Evening was a time to relax at the bar by the beach which is done up so beautifully. The happy hours are definitely worth it. They have happy hours from 5 in the evening to 9 PM :)) What else do we want isn't it ? The bar also boasted of a well stocked cellar and the wine list was definitely impressive. Another interesting offering is a so called 'unlimited wine buffet' whereby you could taste how many ever wines you wish to from their wine list for a fixed price. Yes, like a buffet :)

The next day was almost entirely spent going around the island and visiting different temple ( Vats as they are called) and exploring the general natural bounty of the island. The transportation options are unlimited, you can hire a taxi, opt for a public bus/van or even rent your own vehicle. Rented vehicles come in all shapes and sizes, from the macho bikes to rugged jeeps, everything could be procured for a very nominal price. We opted to go for a gearless honda bike so that yours truly could drive too. Wonderful as they are, in the entire samui nobody really asks for a licence. They only need to see a passport to give you a bike, wonderful isn't it !! :P

Food options now, can be daunting in the begining because a non meat, non sea food - food is not considered food by the thai :)) They do find it quite strange when you ask for no meat, no fish sauce kinda dishes. But I guess they have figured over last few years that providing vegetarian/vegan option is quite important so they have learnt not to quite show a surpirse face anymore :) But the options are limited and not available at every restaurant. Having said that, its not difficult for a vegetarian traveller in thailand, its just a question if getting yourself acquainted with the local surroundings and scout for restaurants who offer vegetarian options. You will be suprised at how accomodating quite a few restaurants can be. So, if you scan thru menus that are displayed outside the restaurants and do not find any veggy options, don't be hasty to write it off as they just might be quite willing to accomodate your vegetarian preferences.

Thai food as always, does not dissapoint you. There is something for everybody, it can as meaty as you want, as spicy as you want and as as flavorful as you may like. But after having really acquired my taste for thai from the US, I have to say that original thai food can be a little different from what you may imagine. As all minority foods go, I think a lot of them are tailored for the local tastes, e.g. Chinese in india is hardly chinese by any standards. Same goes for american thai, it is a little different from the original thai. For one, you cannot expect the thai ice tea at every restaurant no matter how obvious you may think it might be :)) Vegetables that you find in dishes vary in a major way from what you may generally expect to see. E.g. I love bamboo shoots and would have thought that its quite a staple thing in their curries. But I was sorely dissapointed as I did not find that anywhere at all.

Another interesting tit bit is the spurt of italian restaurants that you can find scattered almost entirely in all touristy areas in Thailand. I had an opportunity to talk to the owner cum chef of one of them who had opened an italian cafe along the beach in samui. He told me that most italians restaurants there have been opened by italians who came there as tourists and fell in love with the island. Now, I found that extremely interesting as a restaurant is a huge commitment and you definitely need to make sure that you have a solid clientele before venturing into something like that. But according to him the major percentage of tourists to places like Samui and Phuket are Europeans, infact almost 70% so there is no need to sell italian/euro food to them. They already know and appreciate it. Infact they are happy to have a familiar food option made available to them as opposed to a more pungent and spicy thai option.

Apart from these, there are your typical american fast food joints (which by now, I have stopped exclaiming for! Think its only a matter of time, we will see KFC and Burger King in every remote village all over the world)

After an ideallic 4 days in Koh Samui, we headed towards Bangkok. We decided to be a little adventurous and take a train to Bangkok. We had an extra day so time was not really a concern (it takes 11 hours by train, overnight). The train system or the railways in thailand is so much like india, its almost uncanny. If you disregard the fact that you see thai people around, you can almost believe that you are in an indian station about to board Karnataka express or Rajdhani. Same kinds of smells and sights greet you as soon as you reach the station. I think for tourists its a certain rude awakening that no matter how touristy and comfortable certain parts of the country was, countries like India are Thailand are still the so called thrid world countries. We could have very well taken a flight and saved 10 hours or taken a high speed cruise boat which would have been 10 times more luxurious, but I think it was a good choice to take a train to Bangkok. Things like that really help you see, enjoy and feel the country a lot more as opposed to a packaged tour full of comforts.

Bangkok, is like any indian or international metro. Absolutely the same fundamentals. There is a city center which buzzes with activities, sky scrapers which let you know that a lot of money is being generated here. Residential areas which are quite off limits to tourists and the general hustle and bustle of the city. There is a huge influx of tourists here and its such a different experience to see how the city will take you in no matter who you are and what you are there for. Tourists come there to shop, to see the different sights in the city, businessmen from all over the world come here for silks, gems and more. Despite all that influx, you see hoardes of people going on with their day to day lives being compltely oblivious to everything. Its simply amazing.

Whats also amazing is the fact that the city is alive. And when I say alive, i really mean it, its just throbbingly alive. There is a certain pulse to it which can only be compared to cities like NY or Mumbai. The city has things to do and multitude of options no matter what time of the day or the night. We were up and about till almost 2 AM one day and the city was buzzing till the time we retired so I really have no way of saying when they do relax or shut. If you want to catch a movie or eat or even shop, the city has options for you no matter what time it is. There are at least 2 night markets in the city. I am guessing they start at dusk and go on way past midnight. And these markets are not just rows and rows of shops, but its structured in such a way that there is a common area in between where there is live entertainment and food stalls along the entire compound like a carnival!

It is simply amazing. Having said that, I think wherever you have so much of tourism, you will have a lot of blatant money making! It happens in india where we charge foreigners almost 10 times more entrance fee for every damn national reserve or tourist spot. I think the notion behind this is that this is how tourism industry survives and on a more obvious note, they can afford to pay that much ! Similiarly in case of thailand, they know that the currency exchange makes every thing damn cheap, so they do not hesitate to ask for even 100 times the cost of an item. Its actually quite funny to see any negotiation in that country. They will start with 350 baht for anything. I am not kidding, out of 10 items you ask for 8 of them will be 350 baht! I am not sure what the rationale behind that is. Anyways, from 350 depending on the article, believe me the price can drop to 20 baht , also depending on how good you are at negotiating. :)

Its also a country brilliant at duplicating just about anything. If you thought India and China were experts at manufacturing fakes, you have to visit Thailand. Now I am not that brand conscious but hubby is, and he was quite stunned to see how absolutely fab those fakes are! Apparently they do a damn brilliant job at making fakes :)) Since the manufacturing industry thrives there, shopping is sheer pleasure. We shopped a lot but not as much as I might have, given the kind of shopaholic that I am! I think my mum's prayers are finally working :)) After about 3 pairs of footwear and a handful of clothes, I called it a day ..

This post has become much longer that I had intended it to be but there was just so much to take in for a week :) Its a lovely country and you should definitely put it in your next top 10 destinations!

ps: Due to the absolutely sucky bandwidth here, interspersed pics are only a fraction of what I intend to upload, plz check back again (an again) for the entire set :)

Alternate careers

2007-06-25T03:10:00.000-07:00

Makes me wonder if there is something else out there.

There has been a feeling of being caught in a rut lately and nothing I do makes it any better. Think, its really a time to take a break and do something drastically diff for about 6 months!

Drop me a line if you think there are alternative paths out there :)

Ho Hum....

2007-06-23T09:45:00.000-07:00

Back in good ol' B'lore.. At least for a while.. At least thats what I think :))

With all the uncertainity and constant upheavel, it feels good to be in the midst of familiar surrounding and family. Nothing compares to it !

Lotsa pix to upload, lotsa stuff in my draft folder.... yes I will get to it someday in the near future, till then..

Heading to Thailand for a week, yiipeeee doooo !!

ps: Watched 'Life in a Metro', enjoyed it immensely..

Post lunch he haw !

2007-05-04T12:57:00.000-07:00

This guy is def in my top 5 funny man list!

2 down, 1 more to go.

2007-05-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

Small budget movies are blink and you will miss kinds mostly due to all the crunching which leads to a certain lack of marketing. But if you do blink and miss these 2 movies, boy you sure are missing out on something.

Whoever says that small budget movies by relatively unknown directors don't usually do well should eat their words. These may not show you the kind of first day turnover that a Fanaa or Krishh may get but believe me, to me they are infinitely better.

Say Salaam India.

There have been many cricket movies like Lagaan, Iqbal etc, but this one stands out from the rest due to the sheer non star ensemble that he movie has. Absolutely wonderful to see a whole movie where you can see normal people and kids. Some known faces do feature out of which Sanjay suri has most footage and he has done a good job. Its not a perfect movie but believe me, if a movie can make me enjoy cricket, it better be good! (considering how completely oblivious to sports I am, yes even cricket!)
I do think that the timing of the movie sucks, considering how badly we lost. There is so much resentment against the cricket team that the constant mention of them in this movie may not be received well. I just wish they had released his before the world cup, the team may have played a wee bit better after seeing this :P

I do not intend to make this a review of any sorts but this movie will definitely find a niche with the younger crowd of today. Its almost like JJWS sans the babes :))

Bheja Fry

So much said and written about this movie. Some loved it immensely, some found it to be a damper. All said and done, this movie is funny. I mean in a deliberate manner, sometimes even annoyingly so. Storyline drags a bit and I wish it was racier, but it has its moments. Vinay definitely deserves the footage he has in this movie. I just wish Ranvir had more to do, he is just so damn funny. He is one of those people like Mahmood or Johnie lever or hey days who look funny. When they come on screen, you are already ready for a goofy time.
The movie for most parts is very very urban even though the core of the movie revolves around this very regular 9-5 kinda guy. Just wish it was breezier.

hmmm.. all in all very watchable...

ps: The title was meant to indicate that as of the moment i wrote this, I had 1 more movie to go (TRRP). But that yes.. was not even worth writing about.

Post Lunch

2007-05-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

This packs a punch and made me laugh reallllly loud!

Ma nu toy!

2007-04-23T20:55:00.000-07:00

Its official!

2007-04-20T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am officially one of those people now !

she - Oh, guess who I saw the other day?
she 2 - No, who?
she - <>, you remember <>?
she 2 - Yeah, i do.. so how is she ? same ol same ol ??
she - nooooooo, you will never believe! Remember how she got married 2 years ago an we havent seen much of her since? She's become fat! And I mean really...
she 2 - wow...

yes... I have become <> :P

My Phone Buddy

2007-04-20T21:12:00.000-07:00

For people in india, check dis out. Super cool i say !

Post lunch read

2007-04-13T16:00:00.000-07:00

Gosh, this guy is too funny.