Ahem...

I have this post in my drafts folder which i started after seeing the movie Guru.. I know I told some people to wait for it as well, implying that its almost there.. But its gonna take a while..
You see works been a bit crazy and i really wanna write something sensible (D'uh!)..
so... yeah....

Blip...

I am a bundle of contradictions ..

There, i said it ! I think if i were to ever go on a talk show an be asked to describe myself in one sentence, thats what it would be...

that I am a bundle of contradictions...

I have consciously tried to avoid facing up to that teensy weensy bit of a fact but what the heck, its the start of a new year an all that.. Might as well face it....

so, keeping in trend with that, I put down things that i miss/missed from my so called housewife-y days... (I swear, i never imagined myself ever writing this, even now i attribute this to the wine :p)

a. The ever so often trip to the gelato place late in the evening or night. The gelato's rocked!
b. The dedication with which I used to cook every single afternoon. I mean, stuff to make my mum proud.. and you don't know the extent of dedication you need to go into to make my mum proud! I don't think i ever repeated anything during an entire week.. wow....(ps: I don't so much as cook once a week even now)
c. Hubs coming home for lunch every single day and to see him eat a proper meal instead of all that salad nonsense.
d. The daily ritual and cliche of kissing him good bye with a 'try an come home early today' !
e. The walks every other day at the park just coz we missed going to the gym :)
f. Afternoon siestas ! Damn how can i forget that.. Luvvvvvvvved 'em ! Thats probably the one single factor which resulted in those extra 15 pounds that I am packing.. But man, what a pleasure to sleep in the afternoon.. awesome!!!
g. The weekly cooking ritual of making either a sweet dish or a chutney. Boy, I miss that.. Its used to be that one single event i could empathize with mums back home. The weekly chutney/pickle or the sweet/baked dish.. I used to religiously make something or the other every week. sighhhh i made my mum so proud...
h. The fact that I had so much time to moisturize, slap on a face pack, just simply pamper myself thru the day.. Boy.. I miss that....
i. Catching up on all my online reading..I keep sneaking in time frm work to do that but it just doesn't add up...
j. The ever so regular voice chats with all my buddies from around the world.. It just doesn't happen anymore :(
k. Last but not the least, the fact that I could really get up at noon if i wanted to :) every single day mind you :)))

Post lunch tit bit

This is such an awesome idea :)

Yummy

There are men who r yummy an then there r men who are yummy-ier.. and then there is Keanu..

Ho Hum !

Familiarity is such a comforting thing. They say it leads to contempt and there is such a things as too much of something. But at the end of the day its familiarity that lends us that warm and fuzzy feeling in this ever changing world..

Like that warm blanky that you always slept with, or that cushy pillow you would guard more fiercely that anything else!
No matter how old you are, no matter how stupid you get (:p), the thought of such things always bring you that much needed feeling of security and comfort.

On a particularly irksome day when you talk to an old friend, a good friend, there is a certain sense of deja vu, there is a certain bridging of physical space which makes you smile.. It could be something your friend says or does. To me, thats familiarity, that feeling of warmth re-created all over again...

A feeling I can retain for the entire day and play it over in my head to get me thru crazy days..

Its very comforting to know that no matter what, some people don't change, some behavior patterns don't change. That goes for me as well as people around me.. And thats a good thing. Because you don't want certain things to change..

Whether its how a certain friend is quiet protective of you
Whether how goofy a friend is at times
Whether they have the capability to talk non stop nonsense..


Or just plain and simple fact that no matter what or how crazy their lives are, there are some special people who will always take out time for you, who make that effort to talk nonsense or chit chat for half an hr every few weeks or so...and when weeks go by without any chat, send you 1 liners saying - "I havent spoken to you in a while, remind me to talk to you" :)))))))

Kabul Express

(Long post warning!)

The diversity in the audience was something I really did not expect. It should probably have set the tone of the movie but nonetheless. It was extremely endearing to see so much diversity at that small theatre.

The row in front of me was completely occupied by about 10 americans, something I sincerely have not seen in all the years here. So many americans for an indian movie is not a common sight.

The row behind me was occupied by a pakistani family (yes, I can make out, thanks to the impeccable urdu-ish hindi or hindi-ish urdu that they speak).

A little further out what I could only guess was a family from Iran or thereabouts. The only reason i even venture a guess is because their spoken language reminded me of what this friend of mine used to speak with her mum(they used to speak in persian, were from Iran you see). But even if I am wrong , definitely from a middle eastern country.

Apart from the diverse crowd that turned up to watch Kabul Express, the movie is special for a lot of reasons.

In my opinion, its the emergence of the new hybrid generation of movie makers who venture into the un-tapped and un-chartered. Yes, I call them hybrid because there is a unmistakable external influence no matter what, not that its a bad thing. External influences are not a bad thing at all as long as they remain just that, an influence. A lot of times the film makers exploit the very term influence by totally ripping reel by reel of another movie or adding too much of what they absorb directly into the movie.

But Kabir khan, I am happy to say is not one of them. He comes across as a very talented director who knows exactly what he wants to see in his actors and where he wants to take the story. Preppy and modern nonetheless and it shows in every reel of the movie.

The protagonists are not idealistic, un-flawed or holier than thou. They are modern, guys next door with their share of prejudices and sentiments. I am so glad there is no so called heroine in this movie. thumbs up to the director just for that bold move. :)

There is a palpable excitement from the first scene. Cut back and forth it tells the story of two Indian journalists stranded in afghanistan searching for a story in the post 9/11 era. The prelude by Roshan Seth helps set the precedent for the movie.

I do not want to make this into a spoiler but I get carried away, so venture at your own risk.

What the movie has going for itself more than anything is the inbuilt satire track through out, very very expertly churned out by Arshad Warsi. That guy really cracks me up. He is so bloody talented its not even funny (pun intended!). But very very under-used in indian cinema. Hopefully this movie will help him in terms of making him more bankable for solo hero projects.

John Abraham is understated and that really works for the movie coz according to me he still has a whole lot to improve as an actor. In this movie he has a lot of unspoken to present and I think he does a good job of that. There are a few one liners that his cynical character has and that makes the scenes! I think it was a very intelligent screenplay to make him an indian muslim in the movie.

And truly only after a certain scene in this movie have i come to truly appreciate the meaning of Indian muslims in this world of today which has an anti muslim bias after 9/11.

This movie takes us through a country we have never really seen in its true form. It is heart wrenching to see a country so ravaged by war and nobody cares to do anything about. Ok, I take that back, there are red cross and other charitable institutions that are 'trying' to do something about it now. But think about it. 10 years (oops, corrected to 27 by a good friend) of ravage either by outsiders or civil war and no one cared to interfere to make the situation better.

No matter how much we see on news or TV channels, nothing drives the truth home like building a story out of it and presented on celluloid. Which is why movies like RDB and Yuva have such an impact. Movies, especially in the Indian sub context, have that power to influence and affect people in more way than one.

In this case, I think creates an awareness more than anything else. There is a certain sense of gloom, desolation and helplessness that runs like blood thru the veins in this movie. Whether its the bonfire scene where they discuss what they can do as journalists to help the cause or whether its the wise crack by Arshad where he say - yeh karo mar jaoge, woh karo mar jaoge.

The movies gives you a first hand look of Afghanistan post taliban era. Indian cinema has seen glimpses of kabul either from the old Khuda Gawah or the even older Kabuliwala (which doesn't show the country but somehow gives you the feel for it). But this something we were probably not prepared for.

The story packs a punch to begin with, 2 Indians, an American , an afghan and a Pakistani stuck together for 2 days in a jeep. I think that itself is such a powerful setting for anything.

The American journalist and that too a female journalist is a very sharp move by the story teller. When it comes to America and all it stands for, as far as Indians are concerned, they are all stereotypes, some good and some not so much. This movie makes you appreciate the good ones and completely cracks you up on the silly ones. E.g. Linda saying - I am an American, of course I can drive :)))

But like I said, there are other stereotypes as well, of a bolder woman who ventures out for reasons of her own, of a certain sense of arrogance and display of money :) Not really bad but you appreciate it nonetheless.

The actor who plays the pakistani in the movie is outstanding, he really is! I have very little clue about him but Boy can he act! In fact you come out of the theatre feeling really sorry for him inspite fo him being a talib. Which i think is a huge achievment for any director, if he can turn the whole character of a terrorist enough to evoke pity from the audience.

There are a lot of moments in this movie, which make you sit up and take notice or crack up completely. Like the incessant gun shots through out the movie, the gun fires are almost like background scores here. Arshad has you in splits continuously to lighten up the strong effect of the controversial subject. This movie would have a huge huge void if not for him. I think he is the sole thread which saves the movie from being discarded as a documentary or a movie with an extremely serious overtone.

A lot of people claim that the movie is aimed towards an intelligent and urban crowd and not the masses. And I think I agree. But I believe any movie should be made out of conviction and not for a certain audience demographic.

Now... yes we have to talk about some negatives as well right, nobody's that perfect :))

There is a serious undertone of paki bashing in the movie, you may justify it by giving a sentimental twist of father daughter or even patriotic overtures but you cannot escape from it. I am as patriotic as anybody but I am a little skeptical about controversial tones like this. I think I feel bad for the people who are in fact not even in the country but are subjected to bashing one after the other by indian movies. Anyways, not that I want to start a debate of anything but its something that is apparent in the movie.

I also think the ending is a little skewed. As long as the director refrains from making a personal comment of a global issue, things are ok. But you find that towards wee end, he cannot contain himself. And he ends the movie by tying up the lose ends with a sentimental dialogue for talibs. But get this, its a generic statement drawn completely from the incidents in the movie. To say anybody is blameless or that just because you empathize or make friends with somebody, they stop being phantoms. I think thats completely skewed observation to end the movie. I appreciate the humane touch to the story, the bondage between the hostages and the terrorist is a classic Stockholm syndrome. Even if we disregard that, we forget that we indians have a certain capability for tolerance and forgiveness no matter what.

Its an emotional statement no doubt and something the director wants to evoke thoughts with but ending a movie with that almost makes you wonder if its really that trivial or small an issue to be commented upon.

It is not, its a global issue with too many affected parties.. Can you really argue about humane talibs with parents of that girl who lost her life in 9/11 or the London blasts or the Mumbai blasts ?? You cannot! Nothing you can/show or argue will ever ever justify anything.

Which is why such subjects are sensitive and require to be treated with respect and no personal bias.

There are 2 train of thoughts I left the theater with:

1. Indian Muslims and their sentiments in the throes of this political agenda and bias the world seems to have in the post 9/11 times. The scene where Imran khan in the movie asks John's character whether he is a practicing Muslim resonates with cynicism for indian muslims and their liberal attitude, at least the so called modern ones. John retorts saying - Haan islam ka thekha to tum logon ne le rakha hai, siliye to AK-56 paas mein raklh kar namaaz padh rahe ho. (Translation - Sure, its you guys who have taken the reins of Islam, is that why you have an AK-56 by your side when you pray?) Its something I find extremely interesting and somehow, just somehow is linked with the second.

2. Indians and the so called indian mentality and value we have- This is so interesting, I spent almost half a day trying to read more and more thoughts ,so articulately penned by people around the world. Without further ado, I will only point you to some of those here and here.

Amen...

There is a certain sense of satisfaction and contentment knowing that somehow, by some random stroke of fate you lucked out..
With so many losers and jerks out there, you can very very easily lose faith, become cynical and become absolutely petrified to start all over again.. But then there is this one person who restores that faith back.

I have always believed that you lose a bit of yourself with every relationship, more they are, more jaded and cynical you get. But there is something to be said about that one person who inspires you to start all over again, all in good faith.

And you want to believe.. In all good things.. In love.. In togetherness for ever...In families..In unconditional support, In the unspoken ...

And then by some quirky stroke of fate you luck out.. You don't expect it, you are almost certain you wouldn't. Even after you do, for a while you wait with bated breath with a palpable feeling of the unknown (or known?) telling yourself that you would not be suprised, you will at least be prepared.

But it doesn't happen...

I was talking to this friend of mine the other day and I was telling him that no matter what and how thinge were in the past, I have always felt blessed to even have what i have or had.. There are worse things out there believe me !

And now as i type this, I feel blessed than ever before. There is a certain warmth and security that engulfs me, which tells me you know what Rads, no matter how things go, it will all be ok... There is something to be said about that one person who no matter what can put a smile right back to where it belongs.. Whether its torturous days at work, irksome family, uncertainties in life which irritate you, or just plain unfortunate events in life...

I was crying like a banshee last nite and am sure he felt quite helpless not even being there by my side but he did not show that. He has a magical way of calming people down, I don't know how.. I guess I never gave it much of a thought :) But last night, I felt it. And believe me i have not felt like that ever ! I am quite a hyper-ventilating character and my mum is worse than me.. So at home, there is really no one to calm anybody down, people only worsen each other's panic stricken condition :))

But here I was, calm as ever in a minute.. In fact god only knows how, he even managed to make me laugh in the middle of a serious banter...And just like that said - forget about it doesn't matter.... And just like that it didnt......

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Why does any problem have to be a reflection of how you are as a person?? Try as I may, i am not able to shake that feeling off.. Once, twice, how many times?