Read this really interesting article the other day where the writer basically collects responses to the same set of 5 questions from women around the world. It is really interesting because not only are the women in varied geographies, but they are also demographically different (ages, economic strata, religion etc.)

At the face of it, there may seem to be very varied experiences but I saw a lot of common thread also. I am hereby inspired to put my own by sort of self tagging myself.

What is the most challenging thing you have found about Mommyhood?

Till you get to a state of equilibrium, mommyhood itself is challenging and at all levels. In my opinion it takes about 10 months after you have had a kid for you to start breathing normally and not freak out over every small thing. Aside from that, the most challenging aspect is to take time out for yourself without the guilt that comes with it. It is very easy to be consumed and overwhelmed by the new arrival in our lives. Like someone else also mentioned, it is very easy to go days without taking a proper shower (I have done the 5 mins dash for so many weeks that I have lost count), or doing laundry, or set aside any time for a dinner and conversation with your spouse. It takes a sense of balance to even get past your routine and try to make time for other things. When you start wanting to make time is when the guilt hits you big time. You start comparing the need for that haircut Vs leaving your baby with the nanny/caregiver etc etc.. It is very important for new moms to aspire for that sense of balance and allow yourself to take time out for yourself because at the end of the day its is equally important to respect yourself as an individual first and a mother after.

More and more women are talking openly about issues, such as postpartum depression and breast feeding, that may have been considered taboo in the past. What pregnancy or childbirth related issues do you wish women had told you more about?

It is extremely heartening to see a lot of issues being openly discussed now with little or no judgement. I don't understand why certain topics are even taboo anymore, certainly not postpartum depression or breastfeeding. Where I come from BF is most natural and there is also a socially built in support system for a new mother which helps with most forms of baby blues. I personally think that postpartum depression is more prevalent in cultures where joint families are less common or where new moms rely on external caregivers rather than their own mom's or mom in laws.

I personally did a lot of fact finding from start to end, so I don't really have much in my list of issues someone had told me more about. There is just so much information out there nowadays, its also equally important to know when to stop turning your self into a Google junkie !

What is the greatest motherhood myth you have encountered as a mom yourself?

There are so many that it is difficult to zero in one one:

a. Babies need to drink water apart from BM for thirst. I heard this a zillion times and I would stick to the same response - BM has everything that a baby could possibly need till the age of 6 months and that's that.

b. Never allow babies to suck thumbs/ get used to pacifier/ dummy as its a tough habit to break- The truth is that kids who will take to pacifiers and dummies or thumbs will do it despite all your attempts. In fact more fervent you are in your attempts, the faster they will. By letting them get the sucking instinct out of their system by which ever means works most of the time.

c. When you have a baby, you need to learn to sacrifice - My mother has said this to me innumerable times :) (infact still does). Basically they mean stop thinking about yourself and start thinking about the baby and everyone else. Thats what mom's do. I find that thought revolting. I personally believe that if you are not happy, you will have very little happiness to give.

d. And the greatest myth of them all - The belief that your baby needs to be at least in the 80th percentile of the growth charts. I have struggled with this for a long time till I realized this whole thing is a myth and that its perfectly fine if my baby is in the 50th or 60th percentile w.r.t a growth chart as long as he's healthy and active. There is just no sense is beating yourself up about it and you need to give a deaf ear to people who say - "oh he looks so thin" !

What would your advise be to new moms on how to tackle being a working mom? What worked best for you?

a. Prepare yourself mentally. Its a mental conditioning to be and successfully be a working mom. Thankfully I have had a working mom, so at least that conditioning came easy to me. It is very important to be self aware that as a working mom, life is going to be a certain way for yourself and the child. It may or may not be better than the lives of other moms around you but it will be unique and different in the same way that you are unique and different as a parent.

b. Know your finances. It is very important to be aware of where you stand w.r.t finances in your family life because life could throw a curveball at you. You could be totally prepared for the first day at work after the maternity leave only to find a month down the line that you think different now and it doesn't seem worth it. If you do find yourself at a crossroad where you need to decide whether to work, work part time or stay at home, finances will also play a big part in your decision.

c.Start early at 6 months or wait till the child is at least 1. I know that there could be many who don't agree to this. But personally, starting early allows for the baby to adjust as he/ she grows up. Starting when the baby is 1 allows for you to get lesser apprehensions and separation anxieties. 6 months and 1 year are also in between stages where stranger anxiety/ separation anxiety is not that prevalent in babies, which makes it a good time for you to venture out. Of course at the end of the day it depends highly on the caregiver choices you have as well.

d. Involve your colleagues/ bosses in your decision - You never know where and which quarter you can get emotional support and advice from

Women, especially as mothers, are always trying to achieve balance. Do you think this is possible as a mom?

It depends on how you define balance. For me, if I have managed about 5 hours of constructive office work,come home to a reasonably tidy house, taken my son to the park in the evening, get some cooking done and the toddler fed and tucked in the bed by 9, I call that a major success in a day. This also means I have significant time post 9 PM for that quiet dinner with hubby or a pamper routine for myself :) But that doesn't happen everyday. And that is ok because I allow myself to have off days. Balance is different for different people. Find what your sense of balance is and I am sure it is possible as long as you allow yourself that margin of error and have reasonable expectations.