Lessons by decades

My 20’s was spent in a smashing and swinging time and diametrically opposite to what my 30’s are. Nothing really compares to certain stuff in your twenties such as – skin, hair, fitness and last but not the least sheer guts ! But the thirties are not all morose and sullen as I am possibly making it out to be. To me, my thirties have all been about balance and stability. I have never felt as confident in myself as a person and individual as I have in my 30’s. Although, I am in the early to mid 30’s range I am almost certain of what this decade is going to entail J which is saying a lot considering how completely unpredictable my 20’s were !

So, a fitting post would be jot down what the decades have taught me so far.

Lessons from my 20’s:

1.       Never let go of an opportunity, you just never know how it could turn out

2.       Live big and live each moment, you really don’t know how sucky the next one could be

3.       No boy is ever worth losing your sanity and peace of mind over (ever!)

4.       Try everything at least once, even if just to form an opinion

5.       Your skin and hair is probably the best it will ever be, so revel in it !

6.       You will make the maximum friends in this decade ( which also means you must evaluate how many of them you actually want in your life for the next 25 odd years)

7.       Acting kiddish is very different from being one! (And believe me you will be judged constantly)

8.       Travel travel travel

9.       Don’t be frugal, be prudent

10.   Dream big but also aspire for smaller stuff that bring joy

11.   Your boss/mom/best friend may not understand you but that is no reason for you not to listen to them once in a while

12.   Learn a new skill, anything.

13.   Learn to be skin wise, it goes a long way.

14.   You need to be with someone who values and respects you for what you are. In short, you need to be cherished and more importantly you should be told about in once in a while

15.   If you don’t have a good feeling about it, don’t do it.

16.   You may find your cozy set of girl friends but it’s the guys in your life who will be that pillar of sanity and support when you need to figure it all out. A guys’ perspective may not solve your problem but will let you understand it in most cases.

17.   You will get over that breakup/heartbreak no matter how unending it may seem or how un mend-able your heart may feel. Give it time and sufficient healthy distractions and this too shall pass.

18.   Do not write friends off simply because they seem pre-occupied or too self consumed. They are either happily in their cocoon or too hurt internally not to reach out for whatever reasons. Give them their space and time and you will find that you can pick up just where  you left off when they come back. When they come back a) hold on to them since they did come back b) acknowledge the fact that your lives may have branched out differently and that is ok.

19.   Family usually takes a backseat in your 20’s due to the independence (financial and otherwise), while it maybe ok to close up on matters close to the heart, it is not ok to shut them off completely. Keeping daily mundane communication going goes a long way when you would need to come back to them groveling later on in life J

20.   Find someone who makes you laugh in the face of anything.

Lessons from my 30’s (so far):

1.       You will not have time for everything under the sun but that is ok

2.       Don’t sweat over the small stuff, life will go on and in the bigger scheme of life, smaller stuff rarely make a dent

3.       Aspire to be good at everything you do, but don’t beat yourself up if you have to slack off in a couple. You need to find a balance between what can be done and what level of perfection is acceptable to you.

4.       Try to make new friends, old friends tend to disappear or move apart

5.       If you are serious about your professional career, treat it seriously. Turning up for work does not qualify under being serious about your career.

6.       There will never be enough money for all the explicit and implicit needs in your life, the only way to make it available or last, is to plan and invest wisely. You don’t have to be a Financial whiz to save up some money each month and put it aside.

7.       If you find someone who loves and cares for you unconditionally, hold on to them and never let them go. Apart from your parents, that person is the only other person who will be around when everyone around you judges you.

8.       Make time for your friends, friendship like any other relationship works both ways and you need to invest time into it.

9.       If a  good friend does not want to talk to you about something but prefers someone else, take solace in the fact that they have an avenue to get it out of their system irrespective to the medium.

10.   30’s will be a checklist time, make peace with that fact. It will be the decade where you will want to check stuff off of your list and tend to compare your list vs someone else’s. Its normal to do that

11.   30’s can be testing to your relationship with your significant other, since your relationship will get tested with each milestone in your life, financial or personal. E.g. investments, new house, babies etc.

12.   Life will change after kids and sooner you accept that the better. It is not necessarily for the worst but you need to acknowledge that it will happen and a change is good. Life will normalize over a period of time and it needs to be a joint effort.

13.   Your friends will treat you differently when you have kids, it could be stereotyping or isolating. This is the time to find couples that you have more in common with if you don’t want to vegetate at home all weekends.

14.   No matter how much you spell it out, your single friends will not understand about complicated marital issues and friends without kids will not understand baby issues. Give it up already and move on !

15.   Baby banter and MIL bashing will not be entertained as normal conversation. If you do need to vent, find someone who has similar issues to rant about.

16.   Do not bring your home to work and do not bring work home.

17.   Draw a line between personal information that can be shared with co-workers.

18.   It is ok to make some acceptable compromises in your job if you have a fantastic boss, a peaceful day is more important than a few extra bucks in your bank account. Peace of mind can extend your life while money may not.

19.   If you find yourself saying more negative stuff than positive about your boss or your job, then it is seriously time to think of alternatives. Negativity festers till it vents itself out in unpredictable manner.

20.   If you have a problem with something, DO something about it.

21.   The best way to teach a child is by doing it yourself and setting an example. Kids learn faster by observation than listening.

22.   You can set your own rules for your child as long as they make sense to you.

23.   Do not let anybody make you feel inferior or inadequate.

24.   Gender inequality is not a myth but thankfully is slowly (very slowly) getting better. There will be people in all spheres of life who will pull you down because you are a woman, when they do that – Rise..

25.   No amount of education can compare to experience but education certainly gives you an edge. At the same time don’t let your experience get clouded by any education that you did not or could not have.

26.   Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can

27.   Always appreciate your loved ones and verbally so. It is never trivial to say Sorry’s and Thank You’s even to your child.

28.   Pick something that you are good at and be even better

29.   Never stop reading, lack of time is not even an excuse. The busiest and the most successful person out there has the same hours in a day as you. Make time for what is important

30.   Last but definitely not the least – Live and Let Live. Most political problems at home or office can be sorted out by letting people be.