Writing in the rain..

Sounds extremely funny I know, but it may just come true in a matter of minutes. Raining cats and dogs here and our office ceiling (false ceiling at that) threatening to give away anytime! Water is already pouring in thru AC ducts and roof sprinkler outlets :-))
Its funny when you think about it, my friends on IM asking me why i am still sitting here :p But it gives me a tingle of adventure nonetheless, a spark of something different in my otherwise mundane life ;-)

grumble grumble

mutter mutter... baaaahh ...

Lethargy at its peak and absolutely not even an ounce of energy. Is it the relentless banaglore summer? Is it the joblessness? Is it the fact that I am taking each day of this long distance marriage as it comes and slowly getting irked by having to make long distance calls for every small thing? Is it because i love litchies and they are bloody 120 bucks a kilo!!!? Is it because there are no good movies? Is it because there is not even 1 ml of anything remotely resembling creative juices flowing anywhere in my body? Is it because of all the useless weight I am putting on eating stuff I dont need to and do it just because? Is it because I am booooooooored!!!

:-)
Ha, that actually felt good..

wait....., oh no !..

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....................

Conversations with myself...

The mind is a funny thing.. Ok let me re-phrase that. The human mind is a very funny thing. It progresses with time, it grows with age, it matures with experiences.. But it still longs for old times.. For good or bad.. or sad or happy times. Its sad that it can even crave for time that were not so good. It latches on to that one memory or for that matter even a couple an says-'no , i long for that! Can you give me that?' And I say 'No'. I cannot. No matter how long ago it was, no matter how gray, no matter how sunny, no mattter how young, no mattter what. No, I cannot give you that.
There is reason I am and you are the way you are. That reason still holds good. If it was meant to be circa 1999, it would be.
But it is not. Things change, people change. Lives change...

Maybe I am being melodramatic.. shut up rads! Look ahead.. look at the life you chose, look at the bright side..

Looking....

But.. can i get somethings from back then ? Ok, maybe just one thing then ? Can i ? Maybe a friend frm old days, maybe that spunk that was there ? Maybe a spark ? Can i ?

No, you cannot and you know that ..Why do you need any of those ? You were doing good even otherwise rt ? You chose to let them go dear. You cannot make the same decisions again in life.

Yes, I know. I am happy right now.. at least for most parts.. But I miss some of those.. there are times when i feel alone and I dont have what i had back then..

You have so much more..You have everything that you really wanted!!

Ya, I do.. but...

No.. You cannot do this. Life is as you make it to be. You always knew you could always choose your path and life and you are doing good in fact..

Ya, I guess I am.. Given everything ..I am happy.. Just these fractional moments when heart longs for certain things..There are things which will always always mean a lot.. time spent with your girlfriends, that one cell phone number you can call rain or shine, that spunk which makes you do these things you did years and years ago, evenings where you can just be yourself and let loose. .All that and some more..

oh shut up Rads!