Conversations with myself...

The mind is a funny thing.. Ok let me re-phrase that. The human mind is a very funny thing. It progresses with time, it grows with age, it matures with experiences.. But it still longs for old times.. For good or bad.. or sad or happy times. Its sad that it can even crave for time that were not so good. It latches on to that one memory or for that matter even a couple an says-'no , i long for that! Can you give me that?' And I say 'No'. I cannot. No matter how long ago it was, no matter how gray, no matter how sunny, no mattter how young, no mattter what. No, I cannot give you that.
There is reason I am and you are the way you are. That reason still holds good. If it was meant to be circa 1999, it would be.
But it is not. Things change, people change. Lives change...

Maybe I am being melodramatic.. shut up rads! Look ahead.. look at the life you chose, look at the bright side..

Looking....

But.. can i get somethings from back then ? Ok, maybe just one thing then ? Can i ? Maybe a friend frm old days, maybe that spunk that was there ? Maybe a spark ? Can i ?

No, you cannot and you know that ..Why do you need any of those ? You were doing good even otherwise rt ? You chose to let them go dear. You cannot make the same decisions again in life.

Yes, I know. I am happy right now.. at least for most parts.. But I miss some of those.. there are times when i feel alone and I dont have what i had back then..

You have so much more..You have everything that you really wanted!!

Ya, I do.. but...

No.. You cannot do this. Life is as you make it to be. You always knew you could always choose your path and life and you are doing good in fact..

Ya, I guess I am.. Given everything ..I am happy.. Just these fractional moments when heart longs for certain things..There are things which will always always mean a lot.. time spent with your girlfriends, that one cell phone number you can call rain or shine, that spunk which makes you do these things you did years and years ago, evenings where you can just be yourself and let loose. .All that and some more..

oh shut up Rads!