Life as we know it.

A seed of a thought got stuck in my mind today as I was talking to this friend of mine who is just stepping into the throes of the so called arranged marriage workshop. I was telling her how it is really nice and appealing if a guy has a good sense of humour as it will make life a lot more enjoyable if not easier. She argued a bit about how does it matter and compatibility and such are greater need for the day. Anyways, we digressed a lot and agreed to disagree.

But the thought remained in my head and I wondered later why I could not substantiate it enough for her to understand where I was coming from. Personally I firmly believe that if your spouse or partner can make you laugh or even smile at the worst possible situations, its half the battle won..But like my friend asked - how is that going to help any difficult situation or resolve any issues.?

Well, to begin with, I want to approach this the feminist-ic way (Sorry fellas, dats the way it iz). I believe that the life as we know it is much complicated than it was ever with the previous generations. Call it the feminist era, or the women's liberation movement or plain self assertion of the womankind, which has led to women playing a multitude of roles in this world.

Cut back to the previous generations, the main worries of a woman in her 20's would be how do I wear this saree or when will i learn to cook? (Please note I am talking about women who could be considered as our counterparts in that generation, middle class and educated(maybe) women). Cut to a little in the future it could also have been - How will my in-laws be ? Will my husband like my cooking?
A little later with women getting their due education and all that, the worries could range from - Will i get to study any further? Will I get to see the boy I am going to marry?
70's and 80's- Now, this was a much liberated world relatively and questions probably ranged from - Will I get a job soon? Will I be allowed to work after the wedding? Can I wear these pants? Should I make Horlicks for pappu? Should I make pickle this summer?

(:)) Ok maybe a little exxageration here and there but believe me after taking ample survey in my own household, including my granny (in her 70's), mum (in her 40's) and aunts (in their 30's), I can almost certainly say that none of their day to day worries were ever any greater than these.

Cut to today and maybe imagining tomm, I dread to think about how our lives have changed. We not only have the worries that probably each one of our previous generations had but also all the worries that our male counterparts face as well. And that my dear is essentially coz we have tread into the path quite un-tread-ed before of Gender equalization! I am sure any lady in my work bay has all the tensions if not more, that any male contemporary might have.
Will I be able to finish this document by tomm? Will the timelines and schedule be approved? Will I get my work extended by 2 days? Will my suggestion be taken? Will my team members adhere to my protocols? Will my manager agree to my idea? blah blah blah......

I personally don't think there is any significant difference in how much of an effort an average woman in her 20's puts in as compared to her male counterpart. So now in addition to the above worries, we have to deal with day to day issues like - Why hasn't the maid come today? Why is chintu not eating properly? Why is my nail chipping so much? Why does my MIL insist on doing everything her way? Why can't I get just an hour to myself everyday? Why do I have to put up with so many guests just when I wanted this weekend to myself? Why is hubby not pitching in for the housework? blah blah blah...

Add to this the perennial guilt which we women always seem to acquire out of nowhere. Am I spending enough time with hubby? Am I spending enough time with my children? I am not able to take care of my house the way I would like to. There is no time for a full fledged meal today, can I make Maggi? I don't have time to spend with papu for his school project. I don't seem to have time to oil my hair! blah blah and more blah...

Can you even imagine to what extent our lives have become complicated? The women in our own houses have started pitying us saying you people hardly have time for anything. My MIL, I am almost certain feels that we have quite a sad life (and would like to do something about it, much to my chagrin).

There is this book that I enjoyed reading last year which talks about this financial associate Kate Reddy who has 2 small kids and an extremely full diary everyday. To quote something from the book:

~There was a time when we used to bake pies and fake orgasms, now we have the orgasms covered but we fake the pies - Allison Pearson in 'I don't know how she does it'

Is there anything we can do about the situation? No, I don't think so. You know why? Because as much as we dislike the fact that we don't have any time anymore, we secretly enjoy every bit of what we do and will think so many times before having to forgo anything. Forgo we do, a lot of things from career to time to ourselves but thats in the face of a desperate situation. But we enjoy the multifaceted roles that we play and the competetive edge that it brings to our lives. The sheer ability to be able to give life. nurture and at the same time cover the board room is a heady feeling all right!

But in midst of all these aspirations, imagine if there is no smiles or laughter??? (haha you thought I forgot what I started with ?) Thats where I think this spunky funny guy comes into the picture. Someone who can put that smile right back where it should be at the end of an extremely maddening day :))

So... Thats what I was trying to say...(mmppffftt)

CRY joins the bandwagon

Hello Madam, I am calling from CRY (Huh!)
Can I talk with you for 2 mins ? (Ok..)
You have heard of CRY madam ? (of course, that organization which is famous for a worldwide propoganda for collecting money for children and sponsoring things related to under priviledged children..)
Yes.. At CRY we are providing you with 2 ways in which you can help a child Madam, you can either sponsor a child for 1 year or sponsor a child's education for 1 year. Would you like to do any of these Madam ? You can pay by credit card madam (????????)

By now, I am quite dumbfounded.. Since when did these so called NPO's start unsolicited phone calls to people for donations ???

gyaan for the day

Women are more often than not, catty with other women. Its only with age and experience that they camouflage it with polite conversations.

Pareshaan

The last post spurned quite a few debates. Which was completely not the intention btw, just that I guess it really was extreme and pinched somewhere. Also challenged a few people's movie tastes and conscience.. Anyways a lots been said and discussed..
Somebody said that 'what struck them the most in the movie is that it makes you think', while someone said 'the movie asks questions to those who do not need to answer it', someone agreed , while some agreed to disagree. :)
Somehow its been about a week and I am still not warming up to the movie as much I would like to.. I keep telling myself the parallel theme in color and sepia was interesting, the stark contrast between the racing in jeeps junta and the simling patriots was quite a contrast, the performances were good and the seed of an idea about what pushes the so called normal people into extremism is definitely interesting.. But..
Alas .. there is always a but right.. I am not able to . (warm up to the movie that is).
I still find it extremely difficult to believe that it inspired people to think, about what I wonder..
I still find it difficult to believe that we think certain issues are only pertinent to a certain socio economic class of people. How is that even possible?
Anyways.. Just want to say that I do not personally want to questions anybody's judgement on liking the movie nor wish to debate about the basic idea/morale/rationale or whatever behind the movie...

So long!

RDB

Much dissapointed would be the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of this movie.. All that hype and those glorious commendations and recommendations did nothing to boost my opinion of the movie.
Awakening the youth of India ? Really ? I wonder which part consists of the awakening? The one in which we see that there is rampant corruption ? Nope, we know that only too well. The part where we see individuals sacrificed for bigger benefits aka money. power etc.? Nah, those are the favourite underdog themes most of the bollywood movies are made out of.. Then which part really ? I am too scared to even suggest the part where it is shown to be ok to go ahead and kill ministers for the sake of making amends or say even revenge.
Its is a very sad state of affairs that we are living in, if that is really the moral of the story and if that is what the director intended us to take back home.

As I am typing this, my bro in law messages me over IM to say that he saw the movie yesterday and thought it was awesome. Its not just been him, close frnds, people I don't know, even hubby said that its a very powerful and well taken movie..

I wonder if I am missing something. There can be only 3 things(according to me) which usually make a movie stand apart- matter, performances and technical aspect. Out of all this I would probably give all the artists a good 8 for their performances because I really thought they had given a sincere performance.
Matter, whoa, thats a sensitive one.. I am not quite sure if its the very vague patriotic symbolism (which itself is debatable as the movie has interspersed historic freedom struggle with modern time whatever struggle and they both don't quite match), which has made people say, send messages, write reviews saying its an awesome movie. I am still struggling to find that missling link. Maybe its me but I cannot imagine killing a defence minister equated to a revolution and even condoned at the pretext of struggle to make India a better place. That's just rubbish. And I am worried if this indeed was the intention of the director. Themes like eye for an eye (especially with the upper echelon of the ministry) and self immolation are not as simple a topic as they make it out to be. A few days ago there was this debate about how this gentleman set himself on fire to revolt against a particular injustice and out of sheer helplessness. Is that a revolution? True a lot of people were deeply affected by it, a lot of hard talk happened, a lot of protests even, but is that really a way to resolve Any issue? Can we as citizens condone that ? Its a sheer act of helplessness and I don't believe that India has come to that state yet.

Killing corrupt politicians because well, they are corrupt, they are insensitive, they are brutal? Nah, not done. And all this by so called youth aged less than 25 years old ? That is just rubbish. It is scary to think that this display of revolution is actually so acclaimed. I am worried whether the present youth really thinks that violence and wiping out the people responsible is really the solution. Nobody is doing or saying anything about wiping out the bad, its only about wiping out the baddies. Why ? One fine day you get up and realize- Gosh, corruption is so rampant in this country and who better as an example for that but a politician. Because we all know how they are and obviously the amount of money being eaten is also proportionally huge. So lets go ahead and wipe them out. What about people at grass root level who indulge in it ? What about almost every youth in our country, who will not hesitate to pass 200/- to that local traffic cop (mamu) and then blame the cop for corruption. That my friend is not a single edged sword, I am sorry. We are all equally responsible for it. Whether its paying 20 bucks extra to get that movie ticket, whether its 1000 bucks extra to get that licence, the examples are endless and that is why I say we have corruption at a grass root level. So what gives the youth even the authority to take matters into their hand like they are saints.

Phew, I guess a little over the top, sorry I tend to get like that. It just sickens me to think that the movies are targetting the youth to give out crappy ideas all covered under that multihued blanket of patriotism, its like haan haan desh bhakti ki movie hai, sab chalta hai. Nahin baba nahin chalta hai!

More than anything else, what irked me was the fact that even though you show a group of youngsters who are really very normal, they go overboard and show absolutely 'vella' (vella is slang for jobless and timepass) people. If the youngsters at least had some substance, some achievemnt to their credit it would have added to the movie. I seriously want to ask the director about how the character DJ is still surviving in the campus even after 5 years of passing out. Who is sponsoring all that fun and masti ? His mother who runs a highway dhaba? I sincerely believe that the first obligation any child has is towards his/her parents and family and then comes giving back to the society or country or whatever (sorry if that notion is non compliant with the patriotic one but thats what I feel). Not a single character in the movie is shown to be worried about future or any kind of giving back to his own family. And I find that disconcerting because it gives an idea that its fine not to do so. Maybe the directer intended the characters to be that frivolous just to make the movie a little more impactful. Thats possible. But people making such movies have to realize that no matter what, there is some residual take home fundas in all these movies and hence it becomes a somewhat social responsibilty not to give out a wrong picture. I can understand if the movie was about sadak chaap (road roaming:)) youngsters, but it was not. They were all educated youngsters from Delhi university. So what gives??

The power of youth is not to be undermined, its prevails in each and every house in India and has roots everywhere. It originates from schools and colleges and can span states and even countries. It is definitely a force to be reckoned with and I believe one that can change the shape of a country if used effectively. Which is why I would rather watch a movie like Yuva which showed the youth using that power in a constructive manner. Instead of telling people that we can change the world, show them how. Even that movie did not kill the politician, who till the last scene would not have hesitated to kill them if he could. The movie borders on violence for self preservation while displaying that the youth will not succumb to dirty politics or power games. That was a brilliant youth power, nah, empowering movie. I have to very sadly say that RDB was not even remotely close, like not even in the same zip code!

Performances. hmm Like I said, I feel that all the actors have done a very good job at their roles especially the lady who played Sue. Aamir I felt was little over the top at places doing the punju (from Punjab) slangs and please don't convince us anymore that he could be in his 20's! The last attempt was DCH which was still passable but now as much as I like Aamir, its just as convincing as Mallika sherawat as a Bahu in Kyonki. (Kyonki.. is a famous soap in India about mother in laws and their daughter in laws an blah blah).
When I think back, I think I like the characters of Kunal Kapur and Atul Kulkarni the most as I thought they were well etched characters and of course enacted very well by good actors. Soha ali khan was a pleasant surprise. I honestly think she will shine in good roles that gives her a good platform to act.

Technical aspect. Hmm.. I don't even want to get started on this. As much as I thought the movie was quite colorful and all that, I found it extremely lacking in what has become so common in all movies around us. Slick editing. Totally missing in the movie, Its almost like the editor slept thru it. Dialogues a little overdone and even sound like the actors are saying it just because they have to. Most of Madhavan's dialogues were like that. Anyways lesser said the better about that.

Songs are really nice, its a good soundtrack to have, ARR fans will be happy with at least 2-3 numbers in the soundtrack. The worst part was the song 'Luka chupi' playing in the background during the Captain's funeral. I was quite dumbstruck. How, how can the director do that ??? Its almost like he had a song with him and did not know what to do with it ? I really have no words to describe how wasted that beautiful song was in the movie.

Phew, guess have said enough.. But like I said I must be missing something if people are still raving about the movie. Rang de basanti ? Not quite..

The world is..

Flat. At least Tom Friedman thinks so. And I think I agree with him. Heard about the book from this client manager I used to work with and its been on my to read list since a while now.
Finally managed to pick up a copy of it recently and have read about 5 chapters so far.

First thing that comes to your mind is whoa, the title or the concept of the book was inspired by the CEO of Infosys. Its awesome to see that a book with such widespread response was inspired by, you know, one of us :)

But apart from that its an honest and interesting attempt to unfurl and understand why we are the way we are now. It takes you through a maze of globalization, corporate culture, cutting edge technologies and not to forget all the pioneers of the great companies out there. Its sheer pleasure to read about the vision each of these companies were created with and the execution of the same. The book is almost a treasure trove of information which honestly I would not have known otherwise. Inside information on the otherwise unknown territories some of the big conglomerates charter is fascinating!

Having said that I also did think the book is a little bit biased because somewhere, its from the author's personal point of view. You tend to wonder somewhere along the way about whether this was indeed such a big change agent as made out to be or whether some of the other big ones have been left out or whether something really qualifying as a world flattener? But I guess, a little personal point of view is not a bad thing and definitely something a writer is entitled to.

All said and done a very fascinating book and definitely worth a read if you haven't done so already.

* The book is still in the process of being read, I reserve all rights to change my opinion any time :)

Ek ajnabi..

ek ajnabi haseena se yun mulakaat ho gayi
phir kya hua yeh na poocho, kuch aisi baat ho gayi...

woh achanak aa gayi yun nazar ke saamne aa gayi
jaise nikal aaya ghata se chaand
chehre pe zulfen bikhari hui thi, din mein raat ho gayi...
ek ajnabi...

jaaneman jaanejigar hota main shaayar agar
kehta gazal teri adaaon par
Maine yeh kaha to mujhse khafa woh jaane haya ho gayi..
ek ajnabi...

khubsurat baat yeh chaar pal ka saath yeh
saari umar mujhko rahega yaad
main akela tha magar ban gayi woh humsafar woh mere saath ho gayi...
ek ajnabi...

Old song sung again by KK for an obscure movie called Bas yun hi. One of those very rare songs which actually sound much better than the original. Its sheer magic...