Life as we know it.

A seed of a thought got stuck in my mind today as I was talking to this friend of mine who is just stepping into the throes of the so called arranged marriage workshop. I was telling her how it is really nice and appealing if a guy has a good sense of humour as it will make life a lot more enjoyable if not easier. She argued a bit about how does it matter and compatibility and such are greater need for the day. Anyways, we digressed a lot and agreed to disagree.

But the thought remained in my head and I wondered later why I could not substantiate it enough for her to understand where I was coming from. Personally I firmly believe that if your spouse or partner can make you laugh or even smile at the worst possible situations, its half the battle won..But like my friend asked - how is that going to help any difficult situation or resolve any issues.?

Well, to begin with, I want to approach this the feminist-ic way (Sorry fellas, dats the way it iz). I believe that the life as we know it is much complicated than it was ever with the previous generations. Call it the feminist era, or the women's liberation movement or plain self assertion of the womankind, which has led to women playing a multitude of roles in this world.

Cut back to the previous generations, the main worries of a woman in her 20's would be how do I wear this saree or when will i learn to cook? (Please note I am talking about women who could be considered as our counterparts in that generation, middle class and educated(maybe) women). Cut to a little in the future it could also have been - How will my in-laws be ? Will my husband like my cooking?
A little later with women getting their due education and all that, the worries could range from - Will i get to study any further? Will I get to see the boy I am going to marry?
70's and 80's- Now, this was a much liberated world relatively and questions probably ranged from - Will I get a job soon? Will I be allowed to work after the wedding? Can I wear these pants? Should I make Horlicks for pappu? Should I make pickle this summer?

(:)) Ok maybe a little exxageration here and there but believe me after taking ample survey in my own household, including my granny (in her 70's), mum (in her 40's) and aunts (in their 30's), I can almost certainly say that none of their day to day worries were ever any greater than these.

Cut to today and maybe imagining tomm, I dread to think about how our lives have changed. We not only have the worries that probably each one of our previous generations had but also all the worries that our male counterparts face as well. And that my dear is essentially coz we have tread into the path quite un-tread-ed before of Gender equalization! I am sure any lady in my work bay has all the tensions if not more, that any male contemporary might have.
Will I be able to finish this document by tomm? Will the timelines and schedule be approved? Will I get my work extended by 2 days? Will my suggestion be taken? Will my team members adhere to my protocols? Will my manager agree to my idea? blah blah blah......

I personally don't think there is any significant difference in how much of an effort an average woman in her 20's puts in as compared to her male counterpart. So now in addition to the above worries, we have to deal with day to day issues like - Why hasn't the maid come today? Why is chintu not eating properly? Why is my nail chipping so much? Why does my MIL insist on doing everything her way? Why can't I get just an hour to myself everyday? Why do I have to put up with so many guests just when I wanted this weekend to myself? Why is hubby not pitching in for the housework? blah blah blah...

Add to this the perennial guilt which we women always seem to acquire out of nowhere. Am I spending enough time with hubby? Am I spending enough time with my children? I am not able to take care of my house the way I would like to. There is no time for a full fledged meal today, can I make Maggi? I don't have time to spend with papu for his school project. I don't seem to have time to oil my hair! blah blah and more blah...

Can you even imagine to what extent our lives have become complicated? The women in our own houses have started pitying us saying you people hardly have time for anything. My MIL, I am almost certain feels that we have quite a sad life (and would like to do something about it, much to my chagrin).

There is this book that I enjoyed reading last year which talks about this financial associate Kate Reddy who has 2 small kids and an extremely full diary everyday. To quote something from the book:

~There was a time when we used to bake pies and fake orgasms, now we have the orgasms covered but we fake the pies - Allison Pearson in 'I don't know how she does it'

Is there anything we can do about the situation? No, I don't think so. You know why? Because as much as we dislike the fact that we don't have any time anymore, we secretly enjoy every bit of what we do and will think so many times before having to forgo anything. Forgo we do, a lot of things from career to time to ourselves but thats in the face of a desperate situation. But we enjoy the multifaceted roles that we play and the competetive edge that it brings to our lives. The sheer ability to be able to give life. nurture and at the same time cover the board room is a heady feeling all right!

But in midst of all these aspirations, imagine if there is no smiles or laughter??? (haha you thought I forgot what I started with ?) Thats where I think this spunky funny guy comes into the picture. Someone who can put that smile right back where it should be at the end of an extremely maddening day :))

So... Thats what I was trying to say...(mmppffftt)