Cheating

Its such a dirty word in every which way, isn't it? Or is it?

There are many an implication of it and of course everybody's definition is different. Some believe in what is convenient and some in what is 'suitable'.
What do I believe in? People who know me might even wonder why I am writing about something like this..I was talking to this friend of mine till wee hours of morning the other day and it was yet another instance of self realization for me. (Yeah, i have these things every now and then :p)
I realized that I take a strong stance in many a things in life. Suffice to say that I draw this black line (in bold) when in comes to certain things in life. Cheating or infidelity is one of those things I strictly draw a line against. Its something that in bold letters is etched in my head as 'Unacceptable'!

Chewing upon that much after, I also realized that even the action as such is defined differently by different people. A lot is implicit and clearly defined in a social paradigm where we have lines we have always learnt to draw. But what really made me wonder was the fact that in today's age of internet and non-co-dependent (patent pending on that word :p) lives that we lead, are the lines clearly defined?

Do we Really know where to draw a line when it comes to non-physical relationships with people? I guess the non conformance of such a thing could be called 'emotional cheating' ..

There are so many manifestation of these we see everyday around us but do we really pause for a moment to analyse it? I think its more common in people/couples who lead very independent lives or stay apart for long duration of times. (Ok, before anybody does a jumpdrive to innane conclusions, this is not a page from my life, its only what i see around me :-) )
There are couples I know, who are so involved in just each other that the world around is mostly a blur to them. And I am definitely not talking about such couples.

I am talking of working couples who have a very healthy social life and who have come to realize that too much of co-dependence is a tad bit overbearing. Also having said that, I am not talking about couples going out with other friends and not with their spouses. Whether its for a cup of coffee or a movie, I do believe if you are in a healthy marriage, its perfectly permissible to chose to go out once in a while with friends. (Please note I do mention 'once in a while' :-) Too much of that is also trouble)

So, where was i ? I was trying to figure

If you talk to a friend about some pressing problem and not to your spouse, is that cheating?
If you harmelessly flirt with somebody from the opp sex over a mail or chat (what you consider harmless of course), is that cheating?
Is it ok to talk to someone from the opp sex till wee hours of night even though you are committed?
and so on inlcuding probably the most important or all,
Is it ok if you are actually enjoying yourself without your spouse?

Are we really cheating on our better halves by indulging in one or all of the above?

I guess any one of these are not really as far fetched as we think. We can actually see these things all around us, especially when gender barriers are becoming obsolete and with weekend couples on rise.(Essentially the working ones who manage to catch up just on the weekends).

I think its easy to take a stance on a lot of such issues really because we feel certain things are 'ok' to do. I personally do not see anything wrong with going out for coffee or even dinner with a male friend even if you am committed/married, corresponding with your close male friends over chat and even using some terms of endearment. Maybe even done it.
But if the roles were reversed, would I really feel the same seeing my spouse indulge in it ? Maybe, maybe not. Guess a lot would depend on that 'faith' factor and of course the company also.
I don't think men are any different when it comes to such things. We always feel that women are the more green eyed of the two but believe me thats so not true.

Anyways, I digress. Ok, my 2 cents worth - I think any relationship should have rights and wrongs clearly established way ahead,so that each person understands the reality and repurcussions of crossing that line when faced with that choice. At the end of the day, its a question of personal choice between 2 individuals and no one outside the sphere of the relationship can ever judge or comment.

But, does that stop me from doing so ? naah :p