Food and more food.

Thats one thing that immediately comes to my mind when I think of my MIL. She's a chronic feeder :-) She comes from the school of people where you are the nurturer of the family and their needs come first. A very selfless gesture i am sure but something I could never understand or relate to. Maybe mothers are meant to be selfless, I mean all of them are to whatever extent. But there is just something thats just so difficult to digest about such behavior.

Maybe only I feel it and that too because I am quite quirky to begin with :p and also the fact that my mum comes from slightly different school of caring/nurturing. Maybe its also a lifesytle thing. Mum's always been a working woman, a single mother at that, something thats not at all easy on you or the family. So, her culinery skills have been more short/swift/shortcuts variety. No complaints mind you, I love whatever she cooks. Most of what I have learnt is from watching her cook in a rapid but perfect manner. Though I may never admit in front of her, but she has always always made sure that there is enough food at home when we came back from school, yum snacks dime a dozen and not to mention impromptou things she would always experiment with. Experimentation is a part and parcel of our kitchen, I have never known her go by a few weeks without trying out a new dish giving it whacko names :-) But thats my mom...

She has never waited on us on tables nor tolerated every whim and fancy of mine or bro's. It was a practical household where we would eat on time and eat healthy. There was no question of getting a glass of juice because we felt like having juice or anything of that sort. Whims needed appropriate notices and maybe over weekends we would get to see some action ;) But it was a life that I felt was extremely healthy and inducted so much of independence in us since we were kids. I remember making my own porridge, serving myself and eating all by myself even when I was a mere toddler and it was encouraged.

Cut to present, I am a part of a family where serving is a customary thing. But customary is probably not a good choice of words as except for my MIL, i haven't seen anybody else doing it at home. Maybe because rest of them are men! I don't know, that could be a reason.. They are all fairly independent so to speak but somehow basic things are still left for the womenfolk (read MIL here) to do. I find it extremely uncomfortable at times. I have never been asked to move even a little finger to do anything but seeing her do just about everything makes me slightly mad! Tried screaming at her saying please do not serve me at least, I can definitely manage. Got scolded by hubby in return because he believes that it gives her joy to take care or people and serve etc etc and I am actually depriving her of that!! :O Anyways, broached the topic one time myself with her but was given a disdained look which said, what are you saying, its not like I am doing any work, its my family and I am making sure they are happy and well fed etc etc.

I agree with the sentiments and even appreciate it. But its disconcerting nonetheless. I wonder if hubby and his bros have gotten very used to it. Its slightly disconcerting because me and maybe my future co-sis's may not agree or even share the same sentiments..As I ponder over how the dynamics will be when I will have to stay with them over a prolonged period, I am further inching towards apprehension wondering about what values/attitude my children will pick up. At the end of the day honestly speaking, this is not the kind of example I want to set. I want them to be independent in all respects and not expect anybody to wait on them. With all due respects to motherhood, its just not right. As much as they claim to love it I personally feel its because that their set way of life and probably a lack of having done anything differently.