It took 5 weeks for the exhaustion and irritation to set it. Sleep depravation came in early but decided to wait out for the other 2 to join before acting out !
Viv has been bawling quite without reason now a days. It takes the entire house (which is saying a lot coz I have my mom, bro, hubby, grandpa and grandma all at home!), to soothe him sometimes, even changing hands every 10 mins.. On my part, i frustratingly carry out the entire rigmarole of going thru all the possibilities - feed, burp, swaddle, unswaddle, cool the room, warm the room, sing, rock, bathe and finally when nothing works, i decide its colic and give him his colic drops.. It takes about an hour but at the end he does kinda dozes off, but the awful thing is that we still have no clue why he was bawling and what worked ! damn !
I am also sick and tired of hearing about babies who weren't like him or babies who were worse.. I know i know, I am at short fuse nowadays.. But believe me, its damn irritating when friends just say that ya babies are like this only, you just have to wait it out.. I agree but thats not to say i don't find that annoying... Plus its not like i like them giving advices as well.. yes, I am a complicated personality now and nothing seems to please me :))
I also find myself complaining quite a bit nowadays about how tough its become to soothe Viv and how sleep depraved I am.. But I want to stop doing that and for once thank god for other small things that I definitely have to thank for.. Apparently things will ease out when hes about 3 months old, so whats that compared to an entire lifetime, isn't it ? (bigger picture, helloo !)
So, here goes:
1. I am really glad that Viv is not fussy about being held by others, if he had clung just to me or was fussy about being held only by me, it would have driven me insane by now..
2. I am really glad that Viv is also not fussy about being fed in a bottle. The pump is my best friend now and gives me some hours of peace of mind..
3. I am really thankful for the fact that when he is damn sleepy, he will sleep with whoever is holding him and however hes being held.
4. I am really glad that we at least have a bathing routine in the night that sort of set and there are hardly any deviations there.
5. I am really thankful for the fact that even though its just been 5 weeks, he has let me go out on several occassions for shopping, for a nice birthday dinner and a few get togethers with friends :)
6. I am glad that he is growing well and even smiles at us sometimes :)
So, there ... in perspective, many things to be glad about..
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Monday, March 01, 2010
First things first
I can see my toes, no let me reprase that, I can actually touch and paint my toenails now :)) It sure feels good to be able to do that after few odd months of being a beach whale !
It has been a good recovery so far and I have so much to thank my OB for that. I had a planned C Section, despite all the raised eye brows from friends and acquaintances and a good amount of chiding from my mom. I guess the first question anybody asks and that too so instinctively is an emphatic "Why". Now that I have heard so many why's I guess it must seem very strange and non natural to people when they hear that. There were some who were polite enough to mask it and some who very certainly were not and some even downright judgemental about it.
Anyhoo, to cut the long story short, from the very begining I was very sure of that fact that, a planned c is what is wanted and I had my very good reasons for it and did not need anyone's blessings or approval for the same. My doc was very supportive I must say although she did try a little bit to show me the goodness of a natural delivery and how easy it can be. But I personally do not like uncertanities just being the kind of person that I am and managed to convince her otherwise. She was gracious enough to let me chose without undue pushing or brainwashing :) (although she herslf is extremely pro au natural !)
They say that a good doctor is half the battle won and I have to agree. Dr. Praveena Shenoi was my OB-GYN and without any doubt the best in banaglore in my opinion. If anybody needs a reference, please IM me. It took me about 3 trial and errors to get to her and boy was I glad I did ! I believe that a doctor should put you at ease and not add to any apprehensions you may already have. And she did just that when I met her for the first time. No matter how many patients she sees in a day or how tired she would be, as a patient you would not realize that because even at 8 in the night or 6 in the morning, she greets you with the same affable smile :)
I remember when I met her the first time, I was in a very fragile state of mind as i was pregnant immediately after a miscarriage. I was already frustrated having tried out 3 other so called famous OB Gyn's in bangalore who were just plain annoying ! So, when I told her - "This maybe the one of the million babies that you help deliver but this is my first and I would like the kind of attention that this deserves from you, I would like you to help me with all the paranoid questions that I have and I will reach out to you for all the so called crisis situations in my head", she calmly said "I understand" and gave me her cell number. That clinched it for me and I knew that I had the right doctor..
There are doctors who put you at ease as soon as you talk to them and she is one of them. God knows how many crazy situations and scares we have had during the 9 months including the last ultrasound episode where the radiologist told us to get the baby out about a week before my scheduled surgery. She has been a constant support and voice of reason during the entire time and that is the mark of a stellar doctor !
She is also not the conventional sorts who tell you to rest the whole time as you are in a delicate condition, on the other hand she used to keep telling me that pregnancy is neither a disease nor a handicap so I shouldnt treat it like one. Infact she is one of the rare doctors who would tell me to be active and excercise the whole time (the ones that was allowed and thanks to that I actually dropped 10 kgs just 2 weeks after the surgery !). She was patient with my mum, who god knows is the only person more paranoid than me and told her very gently that I could eat whatever the hell I wanted and if I didnt feel like, not to force me. (during the annoying first trimester !).
During the memorable surgery she actually kept me occupied by talking to me the whole time and guiding me thru the process. The surgery by itself was such a breeze due to her and people dont believe me when I tell them that i was on my feet and walking the next day.
Till date i never experienced any major pain or complications and the incision scar is all but invisible (really!). The other grouse that most women have, is the feeling of being stranded alone after getting discharged from the hospital. This is mainly coz now the focus shifts to the baby and the baby has a doc for him/herself. The woman unless there are complications does not need her OB GYN anymore, so its a bit frustrating to be left to fend for ourselves with a brand new baby that we really dont know what to do with and weird things happening to our bodies trying to come back to its pre pregnancy state !
But thankfully she did not ditch us so fast and hand held enough for me to ease into mommyhood without having to worry about myself as well. Within 3 weeks, she had me declared fit enough to start an active routine and to do whatever the hell i wanted :) (almost quote unquote :p)
Her husband incidently is my baby's pediatrician, Dr. Arvind Shenoi, who if possible is even more famous than her ! He is simply the best ped in Bangalore and boy am I glad to get him or what. Although its a crazy rig to get appointments with him and there is a huge waiting everytime we go to the clinic. But the moment he smiles at us and touches the baby, it makes every frustrating waiting minute worthwhile ! There is just nobody in the world that my baby is so calm with ! Not even me, believe it or not :))
Anyways, this blog kinda transgressed into an ode to my doctors, but I guess that it is justified given how much I have to be thankful to them for :)
It has been a good recovery so far and I have so much to thank my OB for that. I had a planned C Section, despite all the raised eye brows from friends and acquaintances and a good amount of chiding from my mom. I guess the first question anybody asks and that too so instinctively is an emphatic "Why". Now that I have heard so many why's I guess it must seem very strange and non natural to people when they hear that. There were some who were polite enough to mask it and some who very certainly were not and some even downright judgemental about it.
Anyhoo, to cut the long story short, from the very begining I was very sure of that fact that, a planned c is what is wanted and I had my very good reasons for it and did not need anyone's blessings or approval for the same. My doc was very supportive I must say although she did try a little bit to show me the goodness of a natural delivery and how easy it can be. But I personally do not like uncertanities just being the kind of person that I am and managed to convince her otherwise. She was gracious enough to let me chose without undue pushing or brainwashing :) (although she herslf is extremely pro au natural !)
They say that a good doctor is half the battle won and I have to agree. Dr. Praveena Shenoi was my OB-GYN and without any doubt the best in banaglore in my opinion. If anybody needs a reference, please IM me. It took me about 3 trial and errors to get to her and boy was I glad I did ! I believe that a doctor should put you at ease and not add to any apprehensions you may already have. And she did just that when I met her for the first time. No matter how many patients she sees in a day or how tired she would be, as a patient you would not realize that because even at 8 in the night or 6 in the morning, she greets you with the same affable smile :)
I remember when I met her the first time, I was in a very fragile state of mind as i was pregnant immediately after a miscarriage. I was already frustrated having tried out 3 other so called famous OB Gyn's in bangalore who were just plain annoying ! So, when I told her - "This maybe the one of the million babies that you help deliver but this is my first and I would like the kind of attention that this deserves from you, I would like you to help me with all the paranoid questions that I have and I will reach out to you for all the so called crisis situations in my head", she calmly said "I understand" and gave me her cell number. That clinched it for me and I knew that I had the right doctor..
There are doctors who put you at ease as soon as you talk to them and she is one of them. God knows how many crazy situations and scares we have had during the 9 months including the last ultrasound episode where the radiologist told us to get the baby out about a week before my scheduled surgery. She has been a constant support and voice of reason during the entire time and that is the mark of a stellar doctor !
She is also not the conventional sorts who tell you to rest the whole time as you are in a delicate condition, on the other hand she used to keep telling me that pregnancy is neither a disease nor a handicap so I shouldnt treat it like one. Infact she is one of the rare doctors who would tell me to be active and excercise the whole time (the ones that was allowed and thanks to that I actually dropped 10 kgs just 2 weeks after the surgery !). She was patient with my mum, who god knows is the only person more paranoid than me and told her very gently that I could eat whatever the hell I wanted and if I didnt feel like, not to force me. (during the annoying first trimester !).
During the memorable surgery she actually kept me occupied by talking to me the whole time and guiding me thru the process. The surgery by itself was such a breeze due to her and people dont believe me when I tell them that i was on my feet and walking the next day.
Till date i never experienced any major pain or complications and the incision scar is all but invisible (really!). The other grouse that most women have, is the feeling of being stranded alone after getting discharged from the hospital. This is mainly coz now the focus shifts to the baby and the baby has a doc for him/herself. The woman unless there are complications does not need her OB GYN anymore, so its a bit frustrating to be left to fend for ourselves with a brand new baby that we really dont know what to do with and weird things happening to our bodies trying to come back to its pre pregnancy state !
But thankfully she did not ditch us so fast and hand held enough for me to ease into mommyhood without having to worry about myself as well. Within 3 weeks, she had me declared fit enough to start an active routine and to do whatever the hell i wanted :) (almost quote unquote :p)
Her husband incidently is my baby's pediatrician, Dr. Arvind Shenoi, who if possible is even more famous than her ! He is simply the best ped in Bangalore and boy am I glad to get him or what. Although its a crazy rig to get appointments with him and there is a huge waiting everytime we go to the clinic. But the moment he smiles at us and touches the baby, it makes every frustrating waiting minute worthwhile ! There is just nobody in the world that my baby is so calm with ! Not even me, believe it or not :))
Anyways, this blog kinda transgressed into an ode to my doctors, but I guess that it is justified given how much I have to be thankful to them for :)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Welcome Vivaan
Its been a while since i came here. Mainly due to a weird lapse of memory me thinks :) Now that i am insanely hooked to FB thanks to Mafia wars (please do not ask me about my fixation, the only excuse that i have is that killing/knifing mobsters relaxes me :p), blogger seems like an overkill with redundant twitter like one liners.
But enough of that, here's welcoming Vivaan to the world. Welcome my darling baby, 'tis not a bad world for most parts :) You have although come into a kooky family :P, as proud as we are about it !
But enough of that, here's welcoming Vivaan to the world. Welcome my darling baby, 'tis not a bad world for most parts :) You have although come into a kooky family :P, as proud as we are about it !
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Signs
2 of my lovely online friends had told me that this was a perfect time to chronicle the journey so far. Today i got one of those weekly updates from what to expect saying absolutely the same thing ! :) So, I am gonna take this as a sign and do exactly that.
I am still making up my mind in terms of what is TMI and what isn't, so pliss to bear. And yes, there will be a dear baby post soon :)
I am still making up my mind in terms of what is TMI and what isn't, so pliss to bear. And yes, there will be a dear baby post soon :)
Sunday, December 06, 2009
It happens only in India !
Our office has this strange rule of checking people's laptop bags in the morning as you enter the premises. Its strange for reasons ranging from the fact that the security has no clue what they are really looking for, to that most companies that I know frisk people when they leave the premises not while entering :)) So its more like we don't care what you carry out of here, but just be careful of what u r getting in :P
Of course they started this tradition after the bangalore bomb blasts incidents sometime back. Now, I think somewhere the security team kinda lost track of what was the original intention, with security guard looking at my small hand sanitizer bottle and asking me "what ees this madam ?". I mean what did they really think it was ??
Anyhoo I digress... Soo, as gender sensitive the company is, we have female security guards as well.. This sweet lady today morning while doing her monotonous chore of opening my lappy bag and taking a peek inside, thought it was totally ok for her to give me health tips :)
Opens my bag and instead of looking into the bag, looks at my ever growing tummy and tells me that I should drink a glass of warm water with salt in the night before sleeping !! (!!).
Aside from the fact that I don't think she even looked at the insides of my bag, zip off - zip on, the tip didnt make much sense either. :p
But as I am slowly begining to get used to these random happenings now a days, I graciously thank her for the tip and proceed to the elevator ...
Of course they started this tradition after the bangalore bomb blasts incidents sometime back. Now, I think somewhere the security team kinda lost track of what was the original intention, with security guard looking at my small hand sanitizer bottle and asking me "what ees this madam ?". I mean what did they really think it was ??
Anyhoo I digress... Soo, as gender sensitive the company is, we have female security guards as well.. This sweet lady today morning while doing her monotonous chore of opening my lappy bag and taking a peek inside, thought it was totally ok for her to give me health tips :)
Opens my bag and instead of looking into the bag, looks at my ever growing tummy and tells me that I should drink a glass of warm water with salt in the night before sleeping !! (!!).
Aside from the fact that I don't think she even looked at the insides of my bag, zip off - zip on, the tip didnt make much sense either. :p
But as I am slowly begining to get used to these random happenings now a days, I graciously thank her for the tip and proceed to the elevator ...
Friday, December 04, 2009
I admit..
that I suck at social relationships.. and I just dont get along very well with other women !
ps: This is a self realization that has been long coming .. sigh...
ps: This is a self realization that has been long coming .. sigh...
Thursday, December 03, 2009
The secret society
Just happened to watch Oprah today on the hallmark, "The truth about motherhood" special and I said to myself, this is it ! This is what I was searching for. There were people who actually felt that there is a secret society of motherhood out there who are sworn to secrecy by the brethren. They all know what it entails, the highs and lows. They know what to watch out for and more importantly they know what was not told to them by the women around with best interests, best friends, awesome moms (in law). But they don't seem to propagate that pool of information !
Of course the alternate theory that I have is that they have absolute temporary amnesia (something that lasts from the time, the test is +ve to when the kid is about 2) !
For the most parts the show was about experience of motherhood, which I can't really comment about, I still have 6 more weeks to go (almost there !). But the general consensus was that as a clan, we need to prepare our fellow members on what to expect truly and be honest, really honest about how it may not be so rosy after all ..
But here's a show where people are at least acknowledging the fact that there are tons of things that people, ahem women, never tell you about ! Maybe for good, as it may really turn you into a paranoid creature from hell or convince you to continue that pill that you were almost gonna stop :P
Anyways, it has me convinced that women either feel bad about talking about the things that they struggle with (probably coz we traditionally don't like to think that motherhood can be so daunting or that some of us actually struggle to get it right, or worse, some of us dont actually get it !), Or that after the baby comes, they are so much in awe of all the changes including the lovely being in front of them, that somehow magically everything else fades into the background.
I am not sure exactly what the reason is, I think I have spoken to people of all sorts in the last 7 odd months (amazing how it seems almost natural to reach out to other preggo women or women with infants and share things so openly, that you wouldn't even dream of otherwise !). E.g.
1. Women who actually claimed to sleepwalk during the entire 9 months of pregnancy - I mean, come on ? Were u on grass the whole time? How can you actually say that it was all a daze ? Well, I don't actually doubt them coz they don't seem to remember a single negative incident or experience during that time. Everything based on all evidence was a smooth roll. I doubt the very judgement of some people having such blessed lives !
2. Women who gush from the very moment who announce that they are having a baby till the time, they actually display the aforementioned baby - How is so much gushing possible ? As a couple, between us, I don't think we have so much of cumulative gush capacity. And from the first day onwards, they sort of make a promise to themselves that they are gonna be the epitome of supreme motherhood. Who will remain cheerful and take everything in their stride.
When my home kit turned positive, i called hubby to say - "You know what, the test is positive" in the most sombre tone (please note, not I am pregnant or we are having a baby, woohooo ! But the test was positive). Darling hubby believe it or not actually says - "Umm.. am in a meeting, can I call you back ?" Thats our gushing quotient for you ! Not that we are not happy or very excited at the prospect, we are ! Just that we just don't seem to have the gushing capability as some. This ones since then become a long standing joke and has gone into our baby's book as well. God bless the kid :).
3. Women who say "when the baby comes, you will forget everything and nothing else will matter " - I am almost willing to give the benefit of doubt here coz maybe they just got so completely steamrolled that everything did fade in to the background. But when you look back at it, at least then you should be able to remember the testing times right ? Whats your excuse then missy ?
4. An alternate version of the above where women say "When the baby comes, you will know exactly what to do" - Really ? How , magic ? I think more than the fact that mommies all around kinda get this magical mommy ability to do things, its the other way around. The babies actually get used to whatever we dole out as maternal instincts.. I am sure the wailing, colicky baby after 2 hours is like - Ok so that's your solution ? I guess I will just have to make do with it and out of sheer exhaustion, just stops bawling its heart out ! The poor mother at which point is busy celebrating her maternal instincts victory.
5. The one who does and feels as per the book - There is this friend of mine who wallows in the warmth of maternal feelings. She is a mature and a super intelligent woman, but when it comes to babies, she actually has said things like "After 9 months of carrying and nurturing the baby, I wanted to feel the pain of childbirth" (??!!), Maybe its just me, but I find it very difficult to understand or digest these kind of statements. Who willingly asks for pain ? She did go thru it mind you, valiantly as well. Full 11 hours of labour. I do want to believe that i super love the baby inside of me to bits, but do i really crave the feeling of labour ? As much as its a natural process, I don't think so ! It frightens the bejesus out of me ..
Before anybody else from the mommy brigade jumps on me, pliss to note that I do acknowledge that maybe its just me !
6. The ones who have an opinion about everything (and do not hesitate to share unsolicited opinions) - So annoying isn't it ! You don;t have a baby yet? You havent taken off from work yet ? You haven't bought any baby books ? You actually like ultrasounds ? You have a preference of gender ? You bought the baby stuff so soon ? You are planning to be a working mom ? aww.. the list is endless.. Why don't we display some kind of solidarity here ? I mean we all go thru our own set of challenges, why then don't we stop judging other women and just be supportive ?
7. The ha ha ones - You know these are the ones who always leave ha ha messages for you on chats/ facebook etc.. Haha you better shop while u can, soon you will not be able to budge from that room ! Haha you miss sleep now, wait till the max you can sleep at a stretch is 45 mins :P Haha, you sucker you, think that baby of yours is gonna be nice and quiet and sleep thru the nite, it will wreak havoc in your life and u will just feel like killing yourself ! (ok, no one actually said the last one, but some of them sort of hinted it :p). But I will give them some credit because in their own ways, they acknowledge that they didnt have it so easy as well :)
But more importantly, why don't we share the scary things and talk about the gross stuff, the depressing stuff, the infuriating stuff, the one from the blue stuff ? The ones that really really prepares us for whats to come ahead ...
Of course the alternate theory that I have is that they have absolute temporary amnesia (something that lasts from the time, the test is +ve to when the kid is about 2) !
For the most parts the show was about experience of motherhood, which I can't really comment about, I still have 6 more weeks to go (almost there !). But the general consensus was that as a clan, we need to prepare our fellow members on what to expect truly and be honest, really honest about how it may not be so rosy after all ..
But here's a show where people are at least acknowledging the fact that there are tons of things that people, ahem women, never tell you about ! Maybe for good, as it may really turn you into a paranoid creature from hell or convince you to continue that pill that you were almost gonna stop :P
Anyways, it has me convinced that women either feel bad about talking about the things that they struggle with (probably coz we traditionally don't like to think that motherhood can be so daunting or that some of us actually struggle to get it right, or worse, some of us dont actually get it !), Or that after the baby comes, they are so much in awe of all the changes including the lovely being in front of them, that somehow magically everything else fades into the background.
I am not sure exactly what the reason is, I think I have spoken to people of all sorts in the last 7 odd months (amazing how it seems almost natural to reach out to other preggo women or women with infants and share things so openly, that you wouldn't even dream of otherwise !). E.g.
1. Women who actually claimed to sleepwalk during the entire 9 months of pregnancy - I mean, come on ? Were u on grass the whole time? How can you actually say that it was all a daze ? Well, I don't actually doubt them coz they don't seem to remember a single negative incident or experience during that time. Everything based on all evidence was a smooth roll. I doubt the very judgement of some people having such blessed lives !
2. Women who gush from the very moment who announce that they are having a baby till the time, they actually display the aforementioned baby - How is so much gushing possible ? As a couple, between us, I don't think we have so much of cumulative gush capacity. And from the first day onwards, they sort of make a promise to themselves that they are gonna be the epitome of supreme motherhood. Who will remain cheerful and take everything in their stride.
When my home kit turned positive, i called hubby to say - "You know what, the test is positive" in the most sombre tone (please note, not I am pregnant or we are having a baby, woohooo ! But the test was positive). Darling hubby believe it or not actually says - "Umm.. am in a meeting, can I call you back ?" Thats our gushing quotient for you ! Not that we are not happy or very excited at the prospect, we are ! Just that we just don't seem to have the gushing capability as some. This ones since then become a long standing joke and has gone into our baby's book as well. God bless the kid :).
3. Women who say "when the baby comes, you will forget everything and nothing else will matter " - I am almost willing to give the benefit of doubt here coz maybe they just got so completely steamrolled that everything did fade in to the background. But when you look back at it, at least then you should be able to remember the testing times right ? Whats your excuse then missy ?
4. An alternate version of the above where women say "When the baby comes, you will know exactly what to do" - Really ? How , magic ? I think more than the fact that mommies all around kinda get this magical mommy ability to do things, its the other way around. The babies actually get used to whatever we dole out as maternal instincts.. I am sure the wailing, colicky baby after 2 hours is like - Ok so that's your solution ? I guess I will just have to make do with it and out of sheer exhaustion, just stops bawling its heart out ! The poor mother at which point is busy celebrating her maternal instincts victory.
5. The one who does and feels as per the book - There is this friend of mine who wallows in the warmth of maternal feelings. She is a mature and a super intelligent woman, but when it comes to babies, she actually has said things like "After 9 months of carrying and nurturing the baby, I wanted to feel the pain of childbirth" (??!!), Maybe its just me, but I find it very difficult to understand or digest these kind of statements. Who willingly asks for pain ? She did go thru it mind you, valiantly as well. Full 11 hours of labour. I do want to believe that i super love the baby inside of me to bits, but do i really crave the feeling of labour ? As much as its a natural process, I don't think so ! It frightens the bejesus out of me ..
Before anybody else from the mommy brigade jumps on me, pliss to note that I do acknowledge that maybe its just me !
6. The ones who have an opinion about everything (and do not hesitate to share unsolicited opinions) - So annoying isn't it ! You don;t have a baby yet? You havent taken off from work yet ? You haven't bought any baby books ? You actually like ultrasounds ? You have a preference of gender ? You bought the baby stuff so soon ? You are planning to be a working mom ? aww.. the list is endless.. Why don't we display some kind of solidarity here ? I mean we all go thru our own set of challenges, why then don't we stop judging other women and just be supportive ?
7. The ha ha ones - You know these are the ones who always leave ha ha messages for you on chats/ facebook etc.. Haha you better shop while u can, soon you will not be able to budge from that room ! Haha you miss sleep now, wait till the max you can sleep at a stretch is 45 mins :P Haha, you sucker you, think that baby of yours is gonna be nice and quiet and sleep thru the nite, it will wreak havoc in your life and u will just feel like killing yourself ! (ok, no one actually said the last one, but some of them sort of hinted it :p). But I will give them some credit because in their own ways, they acknowledge that they didnt have it so easy as well :)
But more importantly, why don't we share the scary things and talk about the gross stuff, the depressing stuff, the infuriating stuff, the one from the blue stuff ? The ones that really really prepares us for whats to come ahead ...
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