To fit or not to fit..

is the question..

Went to this Diwali party thrown by the company I work for.. Well, it was actually a party only for the Sales, Marketing an the rest of the biggies. Extended to moi graciously by this biz dev manager of mine.

Honestly I hadn't really been to a Diwali party in the states ever. The parties I have even got invited to earlier were the ones organized by these so called Indian cul societies or association or whatever you wanna call them.. People who know me better that I will not even touch these with a 10 ft pole!
So anyways since this was sounded different and of course the fact that I don't really have a life in NJ, I decided to give it a shot..
Knew exactly 2 people in that big hall that they had booked at this really jazzy restaurant (it was a really nice place!). Entered the premises riddled with skcepticism... What am i gonna do, who am i gonna talk to, who am I gonna hang around with, will I know anybody, will anybody know me blah blah blah..
This guy I knew was sweet enough to introduce me to his wife and made a quick exit (An I mean really quick, I am guessing that his wife did not know that the orange drink in his hand was not really orange juice:p)
So, here I am making small chat with the lady who has 2 children and is also surrounded by women watching their kids havin a fun time on the dance floor swayin to indi numbers :)

Small talk, chit chat and 15 mins later I realized I am bored out of my brains.. I needed a drink.. Went to tha bar and this indian bartended greeted me with - 'Good evening madam, would you like some juice? ' I gave him my patented- 'Are you for real' look and asked if they had some vodka. I could see the split second surprise and then he said-' Yes, we do, to make you feel really nice' !!!??@@!!!
I mean, hello !! Not only are you bored, feeling alone an dying for a drink, you get a wiseass creep bartender..
Breathe slowly Rads, count 1-10... breathe breathe..
Hmmppfff.. 5 mins later, outside and trying to call hubby on his cell so that I can kill 10 mins that way... Goes to his voice mail and I curse loud enough to have a few heads turn!

Go inside and am pleasantly surprised to see a variation in the crowd.. A few elegantly dressed ladies.. Quite headturners too I must say.. One was a wife of somebody and one was a girl friend I gathered, both in slinky sarees and strappy blouses.. Smiled to myself.. At least something interesting.. By then I am down half my drink and with lowered inhibitions, started walking up to groups of people and introducing myself..

I think it was a brilliant move except that i kept getting these remarks like - 'Do you work with us ? You look too young ? Is that what you do ? Wow, you look really young for your role! Are you here with somebody?'

I mean, what is it with people an perceptions ! Arrgghh,
But of course with a 2nd drink in my hand, I was able to ignore the comments or even retort cheekily to some :)

After about an hour or so I think i was mingling well with the crowd and had become an expert at polite conversations with the people depending on who they were, weather it was coddling an infant a lady had, weather it was the stock/share value, whether it was about new hindi movies, whether it was about the party places in and around.. I think it was a good experience and by the end of the evening I guess I was less apprehensive about fitting in..

I think fitting in is an overrated thing. Why do we hafta fit in, you don't have to really. That would actually mean you are trying to be somebody you are not, I could never be that gushing newly wed, the coddling mum, the preoccupied with my babies lady, the smart ballbreaker lady who was networking like it was part of breathing, the strappy blouse babe with champagne in one hand and flirting with the other hand, the I don't know what I am doing here in this corner variety. But I can, I swear I can walk up to each one of these people and talk their language. I did :)